How Do You Know If A Teen Is Ready To Be Confirmed?

I could hear the concern in my Confirmation Advisor’s voice. She was worried about a candidate in her small group who never participated. The candidate would show up to her small group but refused to join the conversation. I was not surprised because the same girl had kept to herself during the retreat and did nothing to interact or engage more than she had to. The advisor nervously asked me, “Do you think she is ready to receive the sacrament?”

Preparing others for the sacraments is difficult. Not only is the workload immense, but the variety of perceptions geared towards them are challenging to cipher through. Many who oversee sacramental preparation desperately search for the right content or program that will change the hearts and lives of so many. Despite the work, many are left wondering, “Did we do an effective job?”

While we cannot read the minds and hearts of every child, teen, or adult to receive the sacraments, we can create procedures and systems to help us answer the question, “Are they ready?” When guiding young people and their families through sacramental preparation, it is essential to:

HELP THEM UNDERSTAND THE DECISION TO PREPARE

Before you begin any preparation, you need to ask the people participating if they are ready. Many times people enter the process because their child has reached a certain age or grade. While age is a factor, it’s not the only factor. So, before you begin signing people up, you have to ask them, “Are you ready?”

In addition, you have to remind them that a relationship with God, primarily through the sacraments, is a choice. To help them understand their choice, it’s important to remind them that they DO NO HAVE TO receive the sacrament; instead, they GET TO. Giving them that simple choice can create a greater sense of ownership.

RECOGNIZE WHERE THEY ARE IN THEIR FAITH JOURNEY

Everyone is going to enter preparation at a different point in their journey. Some will be ready to go, and others a little more on the fence. Why one person is more enthused than another will depend on where they are in their faith journey. It will be easier to walk with you if you can gauge where someone is starting in their faith journey.

To get an idea of where people are starting, ask them. In our confirmation enrollment process, we ask teenagers, “What does your relationship with God and the Catholic Church look like?” Our advisors read their responses and follow up with a phone call. These conversations help our team get a sense of what is happening in the lives of teens and let the teenagers know that we care about them.

Slow down your enrollment process so that you can get to know the participants. It might seem like a lot of work, so ask your catechists to assist you. Take the time to get to know each participant so that when the program starts, you can jump right into the process.

CHECK-IN AND GAUGE THE GROWTH

Whether you have a classroom, mentor, or small group model, it’s good to take some time midway through the process to ask the question, “How are you doing?” It is an opportunity to catch someone who might be struggling through preparation. We’ve had teens who have had significant questions that they need help resolving outside of the group. We have had families face significant challenges that have forced participants to lose sight of preparation. Life will happen during your preparation cycle, and you need to make sure participants are not getting lost.

Make sure your catechists know that they should check in with the candidates and their families. Don’t be afraid to have honest conversations about their struggles and if someone needs to delay the process, make sure they know it’s natural. We owe families and the sacraments the ability to slow things down. While it might make your system and process a little messy, it can ensure that you are accompanying people appropriately.

How do you ensure people are ready to receive the sacraments?