How To Build Parents A Team

One evening an advisor in our Confirmation program called me. He said, “Chris, the dad of one of my candidates, called me in a panic; he said his son doesn’t want to be confirmed anymore.” After getting some details from my volunteer, I asked him how he left it with the parent. He said, “I told him I would chat with you, and maybe he and I could meet.”

I told him it was a great idea and that he should follow up with me. A few days later, the volunteer informed me that he, the dad, and his son were able to pray, talk it out and help him overcome any doubts he had in his faith. Problem solved.

I remember walking away from that scenario, wondering, “Why can’t it always work out that way?” Seriously, the fact that the parent knew to call his son’s leader before me blew my mind. And the fact that there was enough trust between the leader and the parent to work through the scenario together was surreal. But, it was also the fruit of what we had been working on in our ministry.

Parenting is difficult, especially when you try to do it independently. Whether a problematic second grader, a defiant high school student, or just middle school, parenting without a team is overwhelming. The Church can alleviate some of the burdens of parenting by helping families form a community that will support them in raising their kids.

As parish leaders, it’s vital that in addition to planning retreats, seminars, and workshops, we need to build relationships among parents and the entire faithful. To help parents form that team, it’s critical to:

TRAIN YOUR TEAM TO MINISTER TO PARENTS

Whether you oversee children’s or youth ministry, your team needs to know how to interact with parents. Catechists or small group leaders, no matter the position, your leaders should be reaching out to parents regularly. Some of the reasons they should shoot a parent an email, text, or phone call are to:

• Remind them what’s coming up in the program.
• Celebrating something unique their kid did that week.
• Ask the parent if they have any prayer requests.
• Sharing a resource that could help them (or their child) grow spiritually.

Regardless of the reason, the more a leader reaches out to a parent, the more the parent will trust the Church to guide them in their faith journey.

CONNECT PARENTS WITH OTHER PARENTS

While creating parent or family-friendly events is key to building a community amongst parents, they can be extra work for those of us coordinating them. Another alternative to having parents connect with other parents is inviting them to stick around after dropping their kid at faith formation for some coffee or a bite to eat.

If there is an opportunity for parents to observe what their teen or kid is doing without getting heavily involved, it allows them to interact with parents doing the same. As the youth minister or coordinator of faith formation, introduce parents to other parents. When parents find other parents who share similar moral and religious beliefs, it’ll create a network that will empower their family’s faith.

PARTNER WITH OTHER FAMILY LEADERS IN THE COMMUNITY

It’s one thing to create a community within the church but another to go beyond the campus. As a ministry leader, you need to connect with school administrators, coaches, the local police department, and anyone who works with parents and kids. Create a network so that when parents reach out to you with a problem, you can refer them to a trusted source.

At the same time, when you build relationships with other community members, they’ll know when to refer parents and families to you. In the end, a connected and trustworthy network will benefit the entire community and let parents know they have plenty of reliable resources.

When parents know that they are not alone in their spiritual formation and raising their kids, their worries will subside. When parents see that the Church wants to support them by introducing them to experts and professionals that could assist them with growing a healthy family, they’ll return the investment. We must remember that serving the next generation includes ensuring the primary influencer in a child’s life has the resources they need to succeed.

How are you surrounding parents with a team that supports them?