Why I Go To Therapy

I wasn’t feeling okay. My mind was pounding, and my heart was aching as I headed into work. The last few months had been rough, but I didn’t want to admit it. Instead, I told myself, “Life is good, don’t mess this up.” So I suppressed the emotions (or at least I thought that’s what I did) and worked my ass off. I kept telling myself that the feelings I had would pass, and one day I would resume loving this job.

A few weeks later, I reached out to my health insurance to find a therapist. Even though I had been in therapy before, it was my wife’s suggestion. The great thing about the people you love is that they recognize the problem before you do, and the fantastic thing about my wife is that she dared to speak up. So, by the grace of God, I put my pride aside and searched.

Over the last five-plus years, I’ve been meeting with my therapist weekly to monthly, emptying the craziness in my head, addressing poor habits, and breaking down life situations. Today I’m at peace and have worked out a lot of shit in my life. In addition to prayer, therapy has helped me discover how to listen to God and find out who I am.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and while there is great content out there on helping hurting teens and walking with families, I thought it would be good to take a moment to address the hurt that some of us in ministry are currently facing. The last year has been rough, and there is a lot of work to get done before we feel okay again, but if we are honest, the stress, anxiety, depression, etc., that many of us have been experiencing started before the pandemic hit our coasts. And so, when it comes to mental health, it is critical to:

TALK ABOUT IT OPENLY

There is a lie we all buy that says, “If you work for the Church, hide your brokenness.” But, unfortunately, that lie will only prevent you from getting the help you need. While each person has their struggle, the reality is we are imperfect creatures, but we have a perfect God who will bring us healing; we have to open ourselves up. 

As a community of ministry leaders, we have to be okay talking about this subject because too many people feel alone. This does not mean we have to get into the nitty-gritty details, but admitting you are not okay, is what the world needs. The first step to healing is acknowledging that we are broken.

CONSIDER PROFESSIONAL HELP

I know there are stigmas around therapy like it’s expensive or therapists are anti-Christian, but the reality is there are various options. If you are considering therapy, consult your insurance company. While seeing a therapist is expensive out of pocket, many insurances knock the copay to something pretty manageable. 

Secondly, a good therapist should never sway you from your beliefs, but with that said, there are some great Christian and Catholic therapists. Doing a simple Google search will get you a list of people to check out. The bottom line, you have options. 

• When you do take the step to set up a therapy appoint remember a few things:
• It takes time to build a rapport, so don’t worry if you don’t feel great after the first session.
• Not everyone clicks. Before you set up a session, be sure to interview people. Ask them questions and try to see if it’s the right fit.
• They’ve heard it all, and if you don’t know what to say, they’ll help you break it open.

When you meet with a professional, you allow yourself to obtain the healing you need.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOD’S HEALING LOVE

I have someone in my life who is good about asking the question, “How’s your soul?” While therapy addresses what’s going on in our heads, prayer is what we need to feed our souls. So whether it is going to confession, heading on a retreat, or immersing myself in a devotional prayer feeds the soul.

Honestly, I have not been great about finding a spiritual director. Like many people, I find myself struggling to fit one more thing into my schedule. But, it’s on the list of to-do’s because I know that even my prayer habits need coaching and adjusting. 

If we’re going to continue to lead people closer to Christ, we have to make sure we are not running on empty tanks. Pursuing spiritual formation is critical to our growth as disciples and leaders. So, if you haven’t taken the time to slow things down and revisit your prayer life, take five minutes to quiet yourself and listen to God’s voice.

While I’ve found a lot of healing in my life, I know that there is still a lot of work to be done. Whether it’s a spiritual director or a therapist, having someone I can go to and remind myself that God is listening is critical. I hope that you know that God is listening to you and that you are not alone.