Every year I sat at the front of the diner hoping that at least one teen would show up to grab a bite to eat and say goodbye before heading off to college. I wanted to reminisce and at the same time give them any last pieces of advice that they were willing to accept. Most importantly, I wanted them to know that even though they wouldn’t be a part of my programs, that I still cared.
Graduation from high school is a huge transition for our teens. They are leaving behind family, friends, and everything familiar to move to the next chapter in their journey. For some of them it’s a welcome to relief and others it’s filled with anxiety. While not every teen will stay connected to their past, we can’t use that as an excuse to check out and move on. The first two years of their post-high school life has so much change; it can knock them off their spiritual journey. As youth ministers, we need to help them make that transition by being available and:
ASK THEIR LEADERS TO GIVE THEM ONE MORE YEAR
If your recent grads come from small groups or mentor relationships through your ministry, ask their leaders to commit to at least one more year of connection. In that year ask them to check-in with their former students, especially during birthdays and near holidays.
To help them stay in touch, advise them to create a consistent check-in time (e.g., First Monday of the month) and utilize a video chat platform like Skype.
The check-ins don’t have to be driven by a specific topic or have an agenda outside of praying for the student. Tell your leaders that their main objective isn’t to keep the group together but to help them create a new community while continuing in their walk with Christ.
BLOCK OUT TIME FOR WHEN THEY RETURN
Coming home can sometimes be just as much of an adjustment as leaving, and that’s because everything has changed. Friendships they’ve had throughout high school could have fallen apart. Their siblings and parents are going to be accustomed to them not being around. It can be easy for them to feel isolated despite being in familiar surroundings.
Don’t be a stranger by being intentionally available. If you know, they are coming back for a break, send them an invitation to connect. Be ready around the holidays for them to walk in and want to share everything that’s been happening in their lives. If you make yourself accessible, it’s going to remind the time that the church consistently cares about them no matter where they are in life.
KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THEIR PARENTS
Teens are not the only ones making adjustments after high school. For many of their families, this could be a significant life change too. You should keep the parents connected even if they no longer have children in the program by making sure they are doing well with the transition and not feeling isolated themselves.
With their child no longer in the house, they might need someone to help them stay connected with the church. Invite them to join a small group, and get them involved in ministry (Not just youth ministry). Parents are rediscovering their purpose, and they could be mourning the change. In addition to serving them, you can also stay in the loop with what their teens are doing.
Even though teens will stop attending your ministry, the impact you can have in their lives is ongoing. This summer put together a plan to stay connected. Start talking to your leaders so you can keep walking with families for years.
How do you help teens make the transition from high school into their college years?
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