It was 2 am and I needed to talk with someone.
I had just finished the first season of Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why and there was no way I was going to sleep with everything racing around in my mind. I thought about the teens and parents in my ministry. I wondered, “How much of this is their reality?”
Recently on CYM Live, my co-host Michael Marchand and I invited family therapist, Roy Petitfils to break down the new season of 13 Reasons Why. During the conversation, we talked about the graphic nature of the show and the powerful impact the story can have on teens, parents and those of us who work with youth. (Check out the conversation by watching the video)
Whether you decide to watch the series or not, it’s an event that you should not ignore. In fact, a television series like this reminds us that there are tough conversations that need to be had. And it’s not a conversation that should wait, it’s one that we should have so that we are prepared for these situations.
To create a culture that is ready to address the scenarios in television series like 13 Reasons Why and much more you need to:
INTENTIONALLY BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH PARENTS
While parent workshops and curriculum serve their purpose they won’t replace the power of personal relationships. While you can’t personally invest in every parent you should try to reach as many as possible.
Recently I’ve gone to my calendar and blocked out dates where parents are welcome to join me for a cup of coffee, bite to eat and a few minutes to chat. It’s an open door policy with no agenda other than getting to know one another. A few parents have signed up, but the relationships being built are powerful.
You can also encourage your small group leaders to do the same with the parents of teens in their groups. Have them grab a cup of coffee with a parent or invite them all over for dinner. The more we can intentionally invest in parents the more we can get a clearer picture of the lives of their children.
CONNECT WITH THE EXPERTS
Even if you have years of ministry under your belt you need to be able to connect with experts in your community who can strengthen your ministry toolbox. These experts can not only be a resource you can share with parents but an opportunity for you to learn more about a particular field.
Some of these experts should be counselors, therapists, teachers, coaches and anyone who has a perspective that could challenge and strengthen yours. Look at people in your parish and get referrals from other youth workers. Know who you should go to when you don’t have the answers.
MAKE CHURCH SAFE AGAIN
We want to grow disciples who aren’t afraid of what the world will throw at them. At the same time, we want teens to know that a place where they can be vulnerable and authentic is the church. To create that type of environment you need to make sure relationships the promote communication is accessible.
You can do that by building a small group program where teens can interact with peers and adults who care about them. Give teens the opportunity to share their story in front of others. Train your adults to listen first so that they know exactly what their teens want.
Again, make sure parents know who and how to get in touch with their teen’s small group leaders. You want both teens and parents feeling comfortable with your ministry. Parents and teens will be more willing to be vulnerable if you’ve created a loving and safe environment within your ministry.
Sadly, tragedy will happen and it’s not always preventable. But, if you want to fight against some of the issues teens and their families face on a regular basis you have to get out in front. Don’t wait to react, but sit down with your team and figure out how you can have discussions regarding shows like 13 Reasons Why and the battle teens face on a regular basis.
What are you doing to have the tough conversation with parents and teens?
The team at CYM LIVE has created a FREE resource to help you talk with teens about the intense themes and subject matter of 13 Reasons Why. Join The CYM Live Squad to get your hands on that resource by clicking the button below.
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