There is the pastor that never shows up or even asks about your ministry. Then there is the one who is more involved than he should be. Both can drive a youth minister nuts.
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The question isn’t which one would you prefer, but how can you plug in your pastor without having him take over? While some might prefer one over the other you need to have your pastor involved to a certain degree because your ministry is an extension of his own.
To plug him in and maintain boundaries it’s important to:
When there is a lack of trust people will act out of suspicion. If your pastor trusts you and you trust him then communication will be clear. He will know when and how to ask you about the ministry.
Build trust by opening up communication and keeping him in the loop. Let him know the good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing. When you have trust then you can talk to him about whether or not he is involved enough?
Your ministry is going to face challenges. While you might be charged with leading the ministry through those challenges it’s important to include your pastor.
That does not mean you have to always ask him for the answer. Inviting him into the discussion means asking for his opinion, wisdom or insight. Not only will you receive some solid advice but you’ll show him respect.
Part of the reasons your pastor is over involved or not involved at all is because the expectations are not clear. If you’ve never invited your pastor or communicated to him that you want him there he won’t know.
At the same time if he is overly involved you need to talk to him about it. Your pastor might not be aware that his over involvement comes off like he doesn’t trust you to lead.
Develop realistic expectations by having a private conversation with him. Give him the heads up that you want to talk about his role in student ministry. And be sure to share clearly how his involvement makes you feel.
Finding the balance takes open communication, trust and respect (For more of that read THIS). Don’t let the relationship just happen, work at it and make it a priority.
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