Are You Good With Your Pastor?

I’ve worked for some pretty great men who have fueled my ministry and allowed me to build the platform I have today. I am grateful for all that they’ve done for me. At the same time I’ve gotten frustrated by their decisions and disappointed by their shortcomings and that’s because they are human.

Working for a priest, like any man or woman, has it’s challenges. You put your trust in their ability to lead, but if those expectations aren’t met it can be easy to give up and walk away. Before you decide that your are no longer called to serve in that parish consider the following steps:

Pray for him regularly, in the good and the bad

We should always be praying for our leaders. There are times when they are taking on criticism, and making decisions that we’ll never face. They are in need of God’s grace, and our intercessory prayers can help them.

Whether you do it daily or weekly, make sure that you pray that they are open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and they are able to keep God in the forefront. Pray for their health and ability to listen to others.

When we pray for others it not only helps them, but it heals our heart. Any hurt that might have been caused will be handed over to God. It will build up your compassion for what your leaders face, giving you the grace to continue to follow them.

Honor him publicly, but don’t be afraid to criticize

We’re always going to be tempted to criticize our pastors when they don’t do what we want them to do. It’s even harder when a “trusted parishioner” approaches you to get your opinion.

If you have an issue with your pastor the best thing to do is to bring it to him first. Let him know how his decision or lack there of has impacted you. Don’t hold any grudges or grievances. When your criticism pours out into public it communicates dysfunction and that’s something people will want to avoid.

A united staff still has it’s struggles, but those are handled in appropriate environments between all responsible parties. If you have to share it with an outsider make sure it’s someone who will point you towards a solution. When you honor your leader publicly, you show the rest of your congregation that you are working together towards the vision God has given you.

Ask him, “What can I do for you today?”

If you want to influence up you need to be able to earn their trust. In addition to not criticizing them publicly, it’s important to show them that you care. The simplest way to do that is to ask them, “Can I do anything for you today?”

In addition, ask them about their weekends, their days off and how life is going for them. If you know they have a big event happening in their life make sure you say something to them. They have lives beyond what we see that can impact their work.

Asking those questions and learning about their personal life not only builds trust, but compassion. You’ll find your overall communication improve and bringing hard issues to his attention won’t be so difficult.

Working for a priest is no different than working for anyone else. They’ll be times that they inspire you and other times they let you down. The important thing to remember is that they are in need of support and encouragement just like you.

What advice would you give someone looking to improve the relationship they have with their pastor?

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