I was nervous to ask, but I knew I had to, “Is there a certain dress attire you expect?” My future pastor replied, “We expect that you know how to dress for your audience and to be presentable.” I was cool with the response because it gave enough instruction; yet, allowed for some freedom. As a guy who loves his funky socks, trucker caps, and beard I wasn’t ready to let it all go. At the same time, I felt the responsibility of knowing what to wear and when to wear it.
What should a youth minister wear? Can he or she get away with flip flops, graphic t-shirts, and shorts? Or is the expectation that you dress a little more business (e.g., suit and tie, blouse and dress pants). Is there an expectation and if the answer is no, should there be one?
How you dress does matter because it impacts how you function and how others view you. If you are uncomfortable, it’s not going to be easy to concentrate on what is most important. If you are underdressed (or in some cases overdressed), some people won’t take you seriously. You don’t want what you wear to be a distraction but finding the right balance is delicate. What’s helped me is:
MAKING CONDITION A PRIORITY
While you might not be able to keep up with the fashion trends, you should be able to maintain a wardrobe with clothes in good shape. That means making sure they are not wrinkled, stained or falling apart. Even suits and dresses can look like a mess if you don’t take care of them.
Hair, especially facial hair belongs in this conversation. As someone who loves growing my beard I have to remember looking like an ax murderer isn’t the most fabulous ministry image. Stay on top of your grooming, and take care of your clothes because it shows others that you are willing to take care of yourself. And someone willing to care for themselves is someone who can care for others.
KNOWING ENVIRONMENTS AND AUDIENCES
I think we can all agree that shorts are not appropriate for Confirmation Mass or a ball gown to a missions trip; however, knowing where you are going, who you will be seeing and what you will be doing should play a role in what you are wearing. If you are attending a meeting or an event, put on by the church or diocese don’t be afraid to ask, “What should I be wearing?” It’s good to know ahead of time so that you don’t show up feeling out of place.
FINDING A FASHIONISTA
For a long time, I was okay with jeans and lots of flannel, and while that trend comes and goes, it’s not always the best thing to wear. I’m blessed to have a wife who has great style and a younger sister who knows the fashion world. Before I buy it, put it on and show it to others, I’m asking for their thoughts. I don’t always follow their advice, but when I do it usually works out for the best.
Find someone you know you can talk to about clothes. They will not only be good at coordinating outfits but helping you figure out what people mean by business casual, cocktail attire and smart casual. It might seem a little obsessive, but it creates accountability and can help you look like someone prepared and ready to go.
DEVELOPING A PERSONAL STYLE
While there are fashion trends, don’t overthink it. Know what you like, what feels right and what makes you confident. While there will be times, you have to put on something more formal or casual, having a default wardrobe is far more straightforward and even cheaper.
WORKING ON MY ATTITUDE AND INTERACTIONS
While clothes can help or hurt a person’s reputation, it does come down to how you conduct yourself around others. So, if you like wearing sneakers, t-shirts or a too-too go for it. Remember people might comment on what you wear, but it happens to everyone. In the end, it’s all about whether you listen, how you handle conflict, whether you smile enough and work well with those around you. Your outfit is just a bonus.
If you think this post is a bunch of fluff, trust me I get it, I wasn’t sure about writing this. The reality is that people do care and will comment, while some of it is gossip, there are a lot of assumptions someone might make about you based on what you wear. Those assumptions (justified or not) can create barriers, and I’m all for cutting down unnecessary obstacles. So, save your kick around clothes for at home, bust out the iron from time to time and dress for success.
Do you think it matters what you wear to work?
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