I used to call it the "Sunday Hangover"—that feeling of waking up Monday morning completely drained. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. And that was after a regular night of middle school ministry, not even a retreat weekend.
In the early years, I pushed through on adrenaline and vision. But eventually, I realized the cost: I was giving everything away and leaving nothing for myself.
What I did not realize was how much I was sacrificing when pouring into others. I was told to be a servant leader, stay humble and hungry but the problem was that I took it too far. The sacrifice was becoming a self-sabotage.
When you work for the Church no one tells you how hard it is to invest in yourself when you accompany others. If you’re feeling spiritually dry, emotionally exhausted, and stretched thin, you’re not alone. Ministry has a way of demanding everything from us—our time, our thoughts, even our family rhythms—while quietly starving the very soul called to lead.
Let’s be honest: it’s hard to lead others to Jesus when you feel far from Him yourself.
We spend our energy forming others. Planning retreats. Leading prayer. Writing lesson plans. Guiding individuals through sacraments.
But formation isn’t supposed to be a one-way street.
The soul you neglect is your own.
Ministry leaders need spiritual direction, too. Not just more theology or skills training, but a space where someone sees you as a disciple first. If you want to be a healthy leader who accompanies others for the long haul, here are five practical ways to stay spiritually healthy in ministry:
It starts with making time for yourself. This takes more than simply writing it in a planner or phone, especially if you've struggled with this before. The first, thing to do is pick a time and feel it out. That might mean 30 minutes in the morning, 45 minutes during your lunch time or 20 minutes before bed.
I know I've had to make adjustments over time. I used to be a morning person, then life changed and then my quiet time was an evening routine. Don't worry if you struggle with it, at first or if you have to change it up. Focus on simply sitting with God. No agenda, no to-do list. Let it be a time to rest and receive. Again, it'll take some work but it's totally worth it.
Building community is key, especially when it's with your peers. Every month I meet with two guys in ministry to simply share life. We have no agenda, but we’ve made a commitment to ask each other, "How are you doing spiritually, relationally, and mentally?"
Find a small group of fellow ministry leaders who can share openly about life and faith. Avoid building it with coworkers—those relationships are valuable but serve a different purpose. Look for a group that can empathize with your challenges and speak into your life without needing anything from you in return.
Sometimes it feels like a spiritual desert sneaks up on you, and while life can "happen" most times it's a build up of bad habits or your margin being chipped away. When you invest in someone who can listen to your story and help you reflect on where God is at work you are able to address those situations before they become problems.
When you have a spiritual director, ministry coach or even a therapist they can help you build the tools to strengthen the habits you need to prioritize your spiritual, mental and emotional well-being. Don't forget your soul needs space to process and grow.
When I was first married someone said to me, "Whenever you say yes to something you are saying no to someone or something else." That simple phrase is a great reminder whenever I'm looking at my calendar or making a decision over a project.
The other tool that has helped me make better decisions is knowing my what drives me. Several years ago, I took the MCODE™ assessment and discovered why I say yes to certain opportunities and why I create certain expectations.
When you sit down and look at the why behind your decisions and the impact it has on those around you, you are able to create the proper boundaries that will protect your time.
Don’t wait for a retreat. Let prayer interrupt your day—on your commute, before a meeting, while walking. On Episode 026 of The Church Podcast I asked guest Chris Bartlett what tools helped him be his most productive self, and he talked about how he uses the rosary to interrupt his day. Instead of sitting down to do all five decades, he'll use small moments or prompts—like a phone notification, a calendar reminder, or even a sticky note on his dashboard—to initiate prayer. He's found that praying the rosary throughout the day has helped him develop a rhythm in his life.
Finding small moments to pause, give God gratitude, and invite Him in can fill you with the grace you need to recenter. If you're not sure how to begin, try carrying a set of rosary beads, a cross, or some physical reminder that God is always present—something tangible that draws your attention back to Him throughout the day.
Don't let ministry wear you down. While ministry is messy and a bit of a grind it's not supposed to burn you out. If you want to do this for the long haul and accompany others to know Christ then don't be afraid to prioritize your formation. You have tremendous value because you have an essential role in God's mission.