Too many of us believe leadership is lonely at the top. I used to make that an excuse to isolate myself and pin the world against me. But, it is only lonely at the top if you make it lonely. When you become a leader, you must surround yourself with people you can lean on and trust.
Over the years, I’ve made an effort both professionally and personally to surround myself with people who care about my well-being. While I have had therapists and spiritual directors, others take on a more natural role. When it comes to ministry, one such role is a mentor.
A mentor is someone you look up to in a similar field. They train, guide, and help you see the path ahead. While I have men who mentor me as a father and husband, others have mentored me in ministry. And I’ve learned that I could not do all that I have done to date without them because a mentor brings:
AN OUTSIDE PERSPECTIVE TO CLEAR YOUR MIND
Sometimes I get emotionally wrapped up in ministry and lose sight of the big picture. In those situations, I’ve internalized the problem, and I am not able to focus. My mentors know to ask questions to help me flesh out the case. They can provide insight that offers a fresh perspective. Additionally, they ask questions about my ministry even when things are going well. They are there to make sure I do not grow stale and am thinking outside the box.
ACCOUNTABILITY TO HOLD YOU TO WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT
I crave discipline, but I’m not always good at implementing guardrails in my life. My mentors have gotten good over the years at identifying when I’m distracted or saying “Yes” to too many things. They bring me back to my vocation. They know when I am delaying a goal and help me identify what is holding me back. With outside accountability, I can stay on track with my initiatives.
AFFIRMATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO OVERCOME OBSTACLES
I struggle with confidence, which I deal with in therapy. While a mentor is not a therapist, they are there to remind me of my gifts and talents. But, what they offer is not fluff; it’s a real insight into what I can do and how good I am at getting those things done. Having a mentor to remind you that God has you right where you need to be is essential to your success.
So, how does one find a mentor? Do they drop out of the sky like a guardian angel? Is there a website where you can hire one? While professionals like coaches, therapists, and spiritual directors help you care for your mind, body, and soul, finding a mentor needs to be organic. To find that mentor:
SPEND MORE TIME WITH EXPERIENCED MINISTRY LEADERS
While a mentor is an outside voice in your ministry life, they should not be an outsider when it comes to your field. A good mentor has spent time in the trenches of your ministry, and they have experiential wisdom and insight that are priceless to what you do.
To find your mentor, you must attend networking opportunities like conferences and workshops. Become a member of different associations and try to attend meet-ups, even if they are online. If you aren’t social, go with a buddy that can introduce you to others and help you break the ice.
NARROW DOWN THE FIELD TO WHAT YOU NEED
You don’t have to have one mentor, at least not immediately. When I started youth ministry, I probably had ten men and women I looked to for advice and insight. Over the years, I began to recognize the type of leader I wanted to be, and that’s when it became more clear who I needed to learn from.
The people who have mentored me are individuals that met my need. At one point, I had a mentor who was good at helping me navigate early parenthood and work. Now, I have someone helping me plan and guide the latter years of my career. And if you can’t narrow it down to one, that’s okay too.
INVITE THEM INTO YOUR MINISTRY
Asking someone to mentor you can be like asking someone out on a date. The fear comes from the idea that they could reject you. But if someone rejects you, the chances are it’s not because you are unworthy; it’s more likely they are busy or do not feel qualified. But, inviting someone into your ministry to mentor you take some intentionality where you set the agenda and schedule the times to chat. While a ministry coach puts together a plan for you, a mentor responds to what you are facing.
Do not go through your ministry alone. There is so much wisdom out there; you are never too young or old to have another person guide you. While Marathon Youth Ministry does not have mentoring, we provide the opportunity to connect with others through cohorts. Check out MYM U for more information.
What do you see as the biggest benefit of having a mentor?