Why You Are Making It Difficult For Parents

If you’ve been in ministry long enough you know that connecting with parents can be a struggle. But, what if we were the problem?

What if we were the reason parents seemed irrational, unruly and apathetic? What if it was us making it difficult for parents?

While no one is directly to blame we can make it more difficult than we should for the parents of our teens. And that’s because we get so focused on meeting expectations that we lose sight of the fact that we need to work with them and not against them.

So, if you want to stop making it difficult for parents to:

• Bring their teens to your programs
• Get involved and serve
• Trust you with their child
• Speak on your behalf

Then you need to start:

OVERWHELMING THEM WITH ENCOURAGEMENT

Parents deal with a lot of criticism. They constantly wonder, “Am I ruining my kids or setting them up for success?” The last thing we should do is add to it.

If you want parents to see us as a resource then you need to make sure they know you are on their side. That can be done by:

• Making a personal phone call to praise their parenting and thank them for their support
• Praise their kid in front of them
• Refer other parents to connect with them for parenting advice
• Bragging on them in front of your pastor and coworkers
• Send out cards on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

Whatever you do make sure it’s personal. Keep the encouragement coming and they’ll see you as someone who cares about their success.

SEEING THEM AS MORE THAN JUST ANOTHER PARENT

Just as each of your teens are unique so are their parents. They have gifts and talents that could bless your ministry and even your personal life. But, you won’t know that unless you get to know them personally.

Take time to invite a group of parents out for a cup of coffee or a bite to eat. Talk to them about the programs but more importantly get to now them personally.

By focusing on their essence you’ll build trust that will lead to things like:

• Personal and helpful feedback on the programs
• Accountability and encouragement when you need it
• Advocacy to other parents and adults in your church

When you see parents as more than just the caretaker of the teens you love you’ll begin to see why partnering with them is so important.

INVITING THEM TO INVEST IN YOU

Parents need to also see you as someone more than another adminstator or teacher. To do that you need to allow them to see you in different environments.

If you work at a small church it could be as simple as inviting families over for dinner, but if that’s not possible or not within your comfort try these 3 options:

1. Utilize video in your emails or social media (i.e. Facebook Live). By hearing your voice and seeing your face they’ll get to understand your tone and personality, which never happens in email.
2. Host an open house where they are experiencing the program as a teenager. Here they get to see how you interact with their teens. 
3. Introduce them to your family or friends when you run into them at church or in public. This will show them that you too are human.

Let the parents see you as someone more than another coach, teacher or administrator for their teen. Youth ministers have the gift of doing something totally unique from other people who work with teens.

So, don’t just throw materials and emails at parents. Slow down the relationship and take the time to see their value. The payoff is worth it.