I’ve had my moments where I’ve thought about getting in my car and driving. Works stress on top of quarantine will do that to you. It’s been challenging to find that release. Bread baking, running, and the occasional drink can only do so much. After a while, you need something a little more significant, something that recharges the battery.
Over the years, I’ve met plenty of parish employees who have stretched themselves thin. Heck, I’ve been one of those people, and it all came down to the fact that I kept going and never let my foot off the pedal.
Whether you are paid or non-paid, full time, or part-time, you need to be able to step back and rest. If you do not rest, you face making some basic mistakes that will cause more frustration. We all need a break because it allows us:
But, taking that break can be difficult because we face the fear of letting go and letting things happen without being fully present. If you are afraid to take a break, even for the weekend, you have to start by:
Deep down inside, there is a piece of you that does not trust what God is doing. There is a piece of you that believes, “Without me, nothing will ever get done.” God doesn’t need you, but He does want to use you. When it comes to taking a day off, delegating, and shutting down email, it’s all about trust. So, before you read further, ask yourself, “What’s my level of trust with God and my team?”
If you admit that the trust level is low, my advice is to find someone who can help you identify those doubts. It could be a spiritual director, therapist, or priest. Name the pride and address it so that you can start tackling the mission God has given you.
On top of pride, we hesitate to walk away because there is no one to step in and carry the weight. If you find yourself tackling ministry by yourself, then you have to put all other planning aside and start asking for help. We’re not talking about a significant recruiting effort, pulpit announcements, or email blasts. We’re talking about picking up the phone and calling one or two adults in your parish that can help you:
You have to be able to show vulnerability with these people. If you are afraid to leave them (or anyone in charge), you have to be honest about your emotions. These trustworthy adults will be able to talk with you through your fears and find tangible solutions.
When we don’t take a step back, look at our calendars or schedules, it’s easy to allow others to control your time. Your time is precious, and once you lose it, you won’t get it back. Just like monitoring a bank account or diet, you need to be counting your minutes. And not only should you be looking at meetings and program preparation, but you also need to make sure you are looking at time off and sleep.
If you own your schedule, you can create a margin to take on the unexpected. You’ll have time to recover, refuel, and simply enjoy the things going on in your life. Owning your schedule is a daily habit that not only requires looking ahead but reflecting on whether or not you are using what you have wisely. I use the Monk Manual to help me track my priorities and time, but using any planner is an excellent first step.
You need a break because there is so much more to life than ministry. When you don’t take advantage of the rest that your body, soul, and mind need, it makes you less productive. Start with one day (the same day) each week. Track your hours and make sure you are blocking out time to decompress and sleep. The more you are willing to step back, the clearer the path towards your goals will be.