---
title: When You’re A Parent…
description: Courtesy of Dreamstime.com About 6 years ago I had a meeting with parents about the faith journey of their child.  During the meeting there was difference in opinions that turned…
---

[MYM Blog ](https://blog.marathonyouthministry.com/blog)

# [When You’re A Parent…](https://blog.marathonyouthministry.com/blog/when-youre-a-parent)

 Written by [Christopher Wesley](https://blog.marathonyouthministry.com/blog/author/christopher-wesley) | Feb 6, 2012 12:30:00 PM

| <https://blog.marathonyouthministry.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/dreamstimefree_6045049-1.jpg> |
| --- |
| [Courtesy of Dreamstime.com](http://www.dreamstime.com/family-imagefree6045049) |

 About 6 years ago I had a meeting with parents about the faith journey of their child.  During the meeting there was difference in opinions that turned into a heated discussion of what was best for this child.  Finally after much discussion one parent said, “ *Chris, when you’re a parent you’ll understand.”*  

 I did my best to wrap up the meeting; however, lets just say I was furious, embarrassed and conflicted.  How could they pull the *“When you’re a parent card*” on me?  It was like a low blow.  At the time I could agree that there is truth to that statement; however, it came off condescending.  Those words to me implied that I had no wisdom to offer to the situation.  

 Now as a parent I understand those words better; however, I realize that I need to be careful in how I use them.  As a youth minister I’ve realized that even if we aren’t a parent we have plenty of wisdom to offer.  That wisdom can be similar and then it can be very different from what a parent might have.  However, I’ve also learned when encounters with parents become emotional we need to:

1. **Pause** – Before rushing in take a step back and examine the situation.
2. **Pray** – Ask God for His words and guidance, allow Him to have control.
3. **Partner Up** – Don’t go in alone, take someone who will hold you accountable; yet, grab your back.

 If you can embrace these steps, than you can approach the situation with a solid foundation.  How you encounter parents will impact the way they encounter you.  Slowing down the emotions, bringing God as well as a trusted minister/coworker will diffuse the situation; however, there are two perspectives we need to remember when we are in these situations.

- **First, It’s Not About You**** –** It’s easy to make it about you, because most times a parent is coming at you with emotion.  It might be full blown and it could be just a hint; however, it’s important to remember it’s not about you, it’s about their kid.  When we recognize that, we’re able to remove our emotion and really understand the situation.
- **Second, What You See Is Not What You Always Get** – A parent might present you with one problem; however, there might be something deeper going on behind the scenes.  When this happens it’s best to just listen, to follow up with questions and not jump to a solution.  If we recognize the deeper issue we can than approach the real problem.

 I realize lately a buzz phrase being thrown around is that we need to *Partner With Parents*.  So, if we want to be truthful in that statement we need to start looking at how we prioritize parents in our ministry.  I’m not saying youth ministers don’t care; but, I wonder how intentional we are when it comes to connecting with them.

**How would you prioritize teens, ministers and parents?  Why?**

**  
**

[View full post](https://blog.marathonyouthministry.com/blog/when-youre-a-parent)

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