There is a glowing speech bubble on my kitchen counter that reads:” Breathe; you’re finally home.” It’s a note my husband will read when he takes off his shoes after walking to and from work. He will be tired. I wrote the phrase moments after he left as a response to our morning prayer time together. This morning, he was particularly struggling with his job and the frustrations that come from other lack of concern and poorly executed layouts. Our prayer time consisted of me listening as he let out all the frustrations he would inevitably pick back up at the door. So I knew that our door needed to become a place where he could enter with peace. And my goal is that it will be.
You might be in a similar situation, so I encourage you, breathe. And Share. It’s in sharing that we offer others the opportunity to serve and love us. Self-care is more than the bubble baths, Netflix binges, or mile-long runs; self-care is in the vulnerability to deny the self the unnecessary burden of walking alone. Please, do not walk alone.
As I clean my house to get it ready for his arrival home tonight, I’m also taking time to breathe. Taking breaks in between working at home and tidying up, I find myself in silence with the Lord again, who speaks so clearly through the peace I feel in knowing I’m doing my best. And that whatever does not get done does not lessen my worth as a wife or homemaker. Whatever email is an unsent or weekly youth plan is not clear; it does not mean that I am incapable of making disciples as a youth minister. So I breathe, and you should breathe too!
Self-care is so essential for ministry to work. In any capacity, whether serving our youth groups, classrooms, the poor, or our families, we cannot do it well without prayer. As a wife, I find praying alone and making time to do so my struggle. My husband and I pray together, and I cannot recommend it enough. Just as we are not called to walk alone, we are not called only to pray alone, either. Through shared prayer, we can listen to one another and receive the graces of being known, loved, and understood by our spouse, friend, parent, or loved one. And then, we can serve the people God puts in our path. But when you place God above your earthly fellowships ( or at least try to), you realize the need to make time for personal prayer. Another habit I cannot recommend enough.
Space is sacred. When our homes or workplaces are messy, our spirits are not far behind. With the dishes finally put away, the floors vacuumed, and the teetering boxes where they belong, I have the space I need. I can now make a healthy dinner, respond to those work emails, and breathe. And when his shoes are off, and he puts away his work bag, my husband will look at the glowing speech bubble sign in the kitchen and smile, and he will breathe too!
How do you make space for your loved ones to breathe? Is your life so chaotic that welcoming others into your soul involves hiding the mess, or do you give yourself the grace to mess up with pursuing peace? When is the last time you tidied up your external space as well as the space within your heart?