It was a long day. The commute was rough, people at work were in a bad mood and distraction after distraction built the misery. At the end of the day I thought I would go home and relax, but it was no use. As I sat down for dinner I reached for the food and spilled my water all over the place. It was one of those days when small and big things wreaked havoc. I was done. I had hit my breaking point.
All youth ministers have a breaking point. Maybe it’s a(n):
- Overpacked Schedule
- Micromanaging Pastor
- Persistent Parent
- Filled Up Inbox
- Inconsistent Flow In Programs
No matter what your breaking point is, it’s important to recognize it before it sends you down a regrettable path. You don’t want to find yourself saying or doing the wrong thing because you were not able to recognize your limits. To get a better understanding of your breaking point:
- Know The Red Flags: You hit a breaking point because you’ve lost control and your limits are gone. To know your red flags reflect on what is happening to you physically, mentally and emotionally. Are you getting hot? Are you struggling to communicate? Do you feel anxious? If you recognize the flags then you need to stop and remove yourself from the situation.
- Set Yourself Up For Success: There are habits in our life that can sabotage our efforts to lead. Lack of sleep, overpacked schedule, and unhealthy eating are examples of habits we need to correct. When you are feeling weak and not at your best it’s easy to reach that breaking point quicker. Build margin into your life and slow down. Set yourself up for success.
- Go Deeper With You: To handle the high stress situations in your life you need to get to know YOU better. That means understanding your personality, and temperaments. To learn more about yourself you can read books like Strength Finders 2.0 or take a test like Myers Briggs. Your personality and temperaments dictate why and how you get yourself into situations. They explain why you react the way you do. It’ll give you the insight to move through the breaking points.
- Get Outside Insight: To get a better perspective of yourself you need someone else’s insight. Give permission to people to speak into your life, check in on you and hold you accountable to being yourself. They’ll point out things you’ve overlooked and ask questions you may never have thought to ask. Get the whole picture by adding someone else’s opinion of you.
When you hit your breaking point you risk burn out and situations that are irreversible. Recognize that they are real and understand that everyone has one. The more you are willing to embrace the complexity of ministry and the messiness that it brings the more prepared you will be.
What are some of your red flags or triggers?