What To Do With Disruptive Teens

If you’ve been in youth ministry (Especially middle school youth ministry) long enough you’ve had those moments.  Those moments where something profound is happening and it’s interrupted by THAT KID!

Courtesy of limaoscarjuliet/Creative Commons License

Disruptive teens are a challenge.  They are a challenge because they will always be a part of your ministry.  The initial reaction is to either kick them out or give up and give them reign.  But, the healthiest way is to:

BUILD YOUR TEAM

If you are on your own your capacity to love, serve and guide teens is limited.  When you build your team you give yourself people that:

• Will connect with the disruptive teen in a way you can’t.

• Have the capacity to handle the situation.

• Might look a little more intimidating than you…just saying.

When you have a team to handle the situation the burden is shared.  You won’t feel as overwhelmed dealing with it.

DEVELOP A STRATEGY

Many times a disruption can escalate because there isn’t a plan to address it immediately.  Our philosophy is to:

• FIRST: Say something to the teen.

• SECOND: Addressing them after worship or small groups.

• AND IF THE PROBLEM PERSISTS: Talk to the parents.

Sometimes you have to ask a student to step out, but no matter the strategy make sure it’s clear and that your team is on the same page.

UNDERSTAND YOUR ENVIRONMENTS

Sometimes teens are distracting because they are distracted or uncomfortable.  If teens are not engaged and focused they shuffle and move around.  Look at your:

• LIGHTING: If it’s too dark teens will have a hard time concentrating or do something because they feel like you can’t see them.

• FURNITURE: If something is uncomfortable or too comfortable teens will shuffle around and adjust themselves.

• TEMPERATURE: When someone is too cold or too hot it makes it difficult to focus and sit still.

Your environments matter and could be the cause to the disruptions in your ministry.

BUILD A RAPPORT WITH PARENTS

There will be moments when parents need to be brought into the equation.  This is when it’s essential to have a healthy relationship with them.  If you trust parents and they trust you it’s going to be much easier to deal with their disruptive teens.

Build trust by telling parents of the good things happening and not only the bad.  Invite them to witness and be a part of the ministry.  Make sure they know other volunteers in your ministry so that if you don’t connect there at least is someone else.

Distracting teens can be an obstacle, but it doesn’t have to harm your ministry.  Be proactive and address it early.  And if anything love those students.  While they might be squirrely they are God’s children and you were once them.