What To Do When Debbie Downer Walks Into Your Ministry

I can be idealistic, but I don’t mind. I love looking on the brighter side of things because it maintains hope and joy. And in a world where our teenagers are experiencing tragedy and chaos, it’s essential that those of us in ministry maintain a positive attitude because no one wants to be immersed in a negative culture.

Even if your ministry is facing tragedy, or immense obstacles, having a positive attitude is important because it maintains hope. Cultivating hope comes from working together, but one person, a Debbie Downer can break that all apart. So, if you have a Debbie Downer on your team the first step is to:

CHECK YOUR OWN ATTITUDE

Leadership impacts those around us. If you feel like your team has embraced an overly critical and negative outlook it might be because of you. So, ask yourself:

• Am I burned out or worn down?
• Do I have some hurts that need healing?
• What is currently frustrating me?

If you struggle to answer those questions find someone you can talk to that can help you process what’s going on inside. If you can lead the charge with a positive outlook you’ll find it easier to attract other positive thinking people.

ADDRESS IT QUICKLY BUT PRIVATELY

If you notice that a team member has a negative attitude then it’s important that you address it before it escalates into something big. You might discover that it’s something simple like:

• They had a long day
• They didn’t get enough sleep the night before
• They need some food and are being hangry

And then it could be something more serious. Take them aside and with love ask them, “How are you doing because I get the impression that something is bothering you?” Offer to pray with them, and let them know that what you saw wasn’t what the ministry needs.

PROTECT THE JOY IN YOUR MINISTRY

If it becomes a habit you want to make sure it doesn’t impact your ministry. A negative team member will frustrate your other volunteers and it will be a reason teens won’t want to come back. If a volunteer continually displays a negative attitude start by giving them some time away. Make sure they know that time you are giving them is so that they can pray, refuel and refresh. After some time off check-in with them.

If their attitude doesn’t change then let them know that you can’t have them be a part of the ministry. While you might want to help them sort through their attitude, it might not be possible. Encourage them to jump into a small group, and even meet with a prayer partner. Letting go of a team member, negative or positive, is difficult. It can lead to some hurt feelings, but in the long run, you’ll have a healthier ministry.

In the end, you want to protect your team from anything that could create a negative culture. To be proactive make sure you are praying with and for your team. Make sure that they make their spiritual life a priority. In addition to prayer make sure you are equipping them to succeed. That means training and investing in them. Get them focused on the vision and check-in with them regularly. Lastly, have fun. A team that has fun together is one that works well too.

A healthy ministry is a happy one. It’s attractive and it’s something people, including teens, will want to be a part of. Maintain hope, keep smiling and help your team know that a growing disciple is one that is constantly growing in joy.

How do you address negativity in your ministry?

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