Last week in Dallas I sat down with a group called the Catholic Youth Ministry Innovators to answer the question, “What do youth ministers in their first 3 years of ministry need?”
The purpose of this group is to equip men and women serving in the trenches of youth ministry. As we sat down to answer this question another one emerged from Michael Marchand of Project YM:
Here is my answer and what I’ve done to work on them:
When I walked into ministry I immediately felt patronized and judged by everyone older than me. The result was a chip on my shoulder that created a stubbornness that was hard to break.
It took some really special individuals who showed me patience and knew how to diffuse my ego. They helped me listen first and speak second.
As soon as I slowed down to listen to what people had to say I realized they were more FOR ME and not so much AGAINST ME. Interpersonal communication practices have helped me on this and even though I’m over a decade in I know there is still plenty to learn.
I love that youth ministers are some of the most passionate and committed individuals I’ve ever met. They work hard and are always moving. While this is a blessing it can also be a huge curse.
Early on I thought my value was in how hard and long I worked. I had to realize through marriage, parenthood and burnout that I was worth more.
As youth ministers your time and energy is priceless and that means it shouldn’t be overused or misused. To protect your value make sure you:
Your value is more than just how many hours you work it’s based on how effective you are with that time. That means having boundaries and advocating for yourself.
If you struggle with this don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Go for spiritual direction, and professional coaching. Love yourself so you can also love those teens God sends you.
This is the big one and probably the hardest to learn. While building a successful ministry doesn’t have to take as many years as it took for me it won’t happen overnight.
A healthy ministry takes time to build because there are many different layers. Not only do you need to grow as a leader but so do the men and women around you.
While waiting might sound painful a way to process the journey is to break it down into seasons. Set goals during those seasons and work together to measure the progress. That way you can at least determine whether or not you are heading in the right direction.
In the end each of these truths that I’ve learned stem from my relationship with God. If I truly trust God then there is no question where He has me is where I’m supposed to be.
As youth workers it’s important to remember that God calls you in and He will call you out of ministry. How difficult that becomes will all depend on how much you want to listen to Him.
Whenever you are stressed or feeling pulled remember to lead on Him. If you want the fullness of ministry continue to make Him the center.
What are the top 3 things you wish you had known BEFORE you got into youth ministry?
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