WANT BETTER FORMATION? TALK TO SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER BEEN TO YOUR CHURCH

I was leading a group of ministry leaders through an exercise to reimagine the way we approach faith formation. We were talking about gathering information—getting feedback to shape what formation could look like in the future.

At first, the room was engaged. Ideas were flowing. But then I asked a question that made the energy shift:

“Who are you listening to?”

Naturally, most of the answers focused on insiders—those already connected to the Church. People who attend Mass regularly. Parents who enroll their kids in programs. Volunteers who show up.

And that makes sense. It’s comfortable. It’s safe. These are the people we already know, who already care.

But if we want to reimagine faith formation in a meaningful way, we can’t just ask the people already in the pews. We have to start listening to those who aren’t there.

WE CREATE FALSE NARRATIVES WHEN WE STAY INSIDE

When we only hear from insiders, we start to build an echo chamber. Our conversations become inward-facing. And we start making assumptions about “those people out there"—the ones who don’t come, who don’t respond, who seem uninterested.

It reminds me of Plato’s allegory of the cave: if we’re only looking at the shadows on the wall (insider perspectives), we mistake them for the full picture. But there’s a whole world outside the cave. And if we never step out of it, our ministry becomes less relevant, less responsive, and less capable of reaching the people Christ calls us to.

FORMATION SHOULDN’T BE CONFINED TO THE PARISH CAMPUS

We’ve inherited a model that assumes faith formation happens in a classroom, on church property, and at fixed times. While it's important to provide opportunities to grow in faith on the church campus, it should not be limited there. 

When I think about some of the best catechetical opportunities I've had with teens, parents or other adults it's at the local coffee shop, afterschool program or talking with people in the stands during a high school soccer game. 

If we’re serious about forming disciples for the next generation, we have to go beyond the parish parking lot. We need to imagine formation happening:

• At the baseball field

• In community centers

• At the bus stops

• In living rooms

• At the local diner or coffee shop

The mission field isn’t “out there” in some abstract way. It’s right in front of us—we just have to step outside to see it.

LISTEN TO DIFFERENT VOICES

Even if you love the idea of being in the community, it's important to partner and connect with others who do the same. While you should chat with coworkers and fellow ministry leaders, consider:

• Local youth sports coaches

• Public school teachers and counselors

• Neighborhood association leaders

• Parents who don’t go to Church—but care deeply about their kids

• Your barista, barber, or the mom at the park with her toddler

Ask them questions like:

• “What are some of the challenges you see people face in this community?”

• “What role (if any) does religion and faith play in the lives of those you meet?”

• “What values or ideals do you see people embracing in this community?”

You don’t need a theological agenda—just curiosity and compassion. Build relationships and show them that the Church cares. If you are not sure who to connect with, ask people you know to make the introductions or start the conversations.

THIS ISN’T ABOUT REPLACEMENT—IT’S ABOUT EXPANSION

Let me be clear: the voices of insiders matter. They’re invested. They’re living the life of the parish, and their feedback is essential.

But if we only listen to insiders, we forget our calling.

Jesus didn’t stay in the synagogue. He went out. He sat at tables. He walked the roads. He noticed those on the margins.

Listening to outsiders helps us rediscover the mission.
It reminds us that evangelization isn’t just about better programs—it’s about better relationships.

IF WE LISTEN DIFFERENTLY, WE LEAD DIFFERENTLY

So, why should we listen to outsiders? When we do:

• We learn to speak in ways that resonate and connect the Gospel into the lives of those who need it the most. 

• We build empathy and compassion leading to better discussions and conversations around faith.
  
  

• We receive outside perspectives and opinions that challenge us to grow in our own formation. 

Gaining these new perspectives will enable us to build a formation strategy that is relevant, and engaging for the committed parishioner and the newest of believers.

YOUR TURN TO STEP OUTSIDE

Want to reimagine formation? Start by asking one new question this week to someone outside the fold. Not to fix, convert, or defend—but just to understand.

Because the future of faith formation won’t be shaped by insiders alone. It will be shaped by leaders humble and bold enough to listen to voices we’ve too often overlooked.