The Power Of Empathy In Your Ministry

I’m a fixer and that can cause problems. As a youth minister it can get especially messy. A teen will come to me with a problem and immediately I give them an answer. A parent needs to vent and I want to help them find a resolution. A fellow youth minister is struggling and I give them advice on improving the situation. All of my intentions are good, but people need something more, they need empathy.

Empathy drives connection and in this short little video researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains this beautifully:

If empathy is lacking in your youth ministry then you are going to struggle to form any type of belonging or community. The reason we tend to shy away from empathy is because it takes time and can be a little messy. With empathy it means we cannot be everything to everyone all the time and that can be scary. The truth is a ministry without empathy misses so many more people than one that does.

If you want to incorporate empathy into your ministry it means that you are going to have to:

EXPAND YOUR TEAM WITH EMPATHETIC LEADERS

While you need to embrace empathy as a leader you won’t be able to address every situation. Where you especially need empathy is with your small group leaders and strategic leadership team.

Small Group Leaders need to be able to connect with parents. Encourage them to check-in with parents, especially if a teen in their group seems out of sort. If a teen shares something that is sensitive remind the leader not to jump in a fix the situation. It’s all about being present.

Strategic Leadership Teams need to help you invest in your volunteers. By showing empathy you can cut down on volunteer turnover and increase a sense of community. It gives your volunteers someone who will pray with them and listen to their needs.

Grow a team of empathetic leaders and you’ll build trust and create more community.

BUILD A PRAYER FOCUSED MINISTRY

A community that prays together is one that is deeply tied together. Your gatherings should begin with prayer, inviting the Spirit to be present and end with prayerful intentions to remind people they are not alone in their week. Give your students time to sit in prayer with one another so that they are reminded that faith is a relationship with someone who unconditionally loves them.

ENGAGE IN SERVICE OUTSIDE THE BOX OF COMFORT

There is a lot you can learn about yourself when focused on others, especially those who are different from you. Serving teaches you to listen and ask questions. It takes a new perspective and matches it up against your old one.

As you look at service projects for Lent and the summer season think about ways of stretching teenager’s ability to listen and learn. Train your student leaders to get to know the stories of the people they serve. As they prepare to serve remind them of places in Scripture when Jesus showed empathy to others. Use service as an opportunity to cultivate a future of empathetic leaders.

Empathy reminds us that while faith is personal it isn’t meant to be private. Real life change is going to occur when people are present for one another and they are listening to what is going on in the lives of their teens. Don’t worry about fixing their problems, focus on presence. It might not lead to an easy solution but it will lead you all to the right one.

What are the challenges to becoming an empathetic leader?