When my youngest son was in third grade, he often lamented going to Sunday morning groups. Each week, he was on the verge of tears, not wanting to go. Some weeks, we ignored his complaints, while other weeks, we kept him home. It was a constant battle, and as both a parent and a parish employee, I felt a range of emotions.
I knew the value of my son receiving formation, but the program had never fully recovered from the pandemic shutdown. I was also new to children's ministry and felt completely out of my comfort zone.
Instead of forcing my son to attend or giving up and letting him stay at home, I sat down with him and asked what he didn't like about the program. Not afraid to tell me what he thought, his response didn't surprise me: "It's more school."
He wasn't the first to have complained, and I knew of a few families that had been in the same situation. So, our team sat down with all of them and listened to their feedback. We learned that:
We thought that by giving our catechists more resources than they needed, they would never feel ill-equipped. Unfortunately, despite all the resources at their disposal, they felt overwhelmed. Most of our catechists did not have the time to create a detailed lesson plan. They were never sure what should take priority; therefore, each week was an adventure that left them exhausted.
So, we stripped down the content to something simple and asked the catechists to focus on two things: GETTING TO KNOW THE KIDS PERSONALLY and PRAYING WITH THEM CONSTANTLY.
Yes, we still provided them with content to teach and explore, but we made sure their priority was building relationships and trust. As we've learned with teenagers, if the kids trust their leaders, they'll listen to what they have to say.
We have to do more than just share content. It does not matter if the kids watch a video or someone teaches from a book; kids need to experience their faith beyond an intellectual exercise.
We started to incorporate games and service activities to make the sessions more interactive. We acknowledged liturgical themes, celebrated the saints, and emphasized community. Sunday mornings were no longer an extension of school, but a place where kids could discover their God-given purpose and find a sense of belonging.
We used to believe parents were too busy to engage in their children's formation, but the reality is that many of them didn't know how. What they had learned as kids and teens wasn't holding up in their current reality, and the idea of accurately portraying this to their kids at home was intimidating.
We also discovered that, like their kids, parents were searching for community. While they wanted to know more about their faith, they were also looking for other parents who shared their values. We realized that fostering connections between parents was just as important as fostering connections between the younger generation.
In addition to giving our parents tools, we needed to ensure they knew who they could partner with and who would walk with them in raising disciples. It might seem like asking your catechists to do one more thing, but it's essential to put parents first. Not only will you get to know the kids better, but parents will also become a valuable resource for the group. They will want to get more involved and support the catechists as best they can.
None of these learnings are groundbreaking, but they are easy to forget. Ministries that get caught up in busyness or only focus on specific metrics of growth lose sight of the relational side of ministry. Relational ministry isn't only for teens; it's something that belongs throughout the entire parish. Don't be afraid to listen to feedback, have the right conversations, and make the necessary changes.