I just spent the weekend watching my oldest play baseball, and I loved every minute of it. Not only did I enjoy seeing my son compete and connect with his teammates, I found real joy in the community I experienced with the other parents.
We talked about our kids, the game, and the usual parenting challenges—but underneath it all, there was community and connection. I felt like I belonged. If I'm honest, I haven't felt that way at church for a long time.
Even as someone who worked at our family’s parish, I saw how often we focused on what we wanted FROM parents—not what we wanted FOR them.
And even when we discussed what we wanted FOR them it had to do with raising their kids in the faith. While there is nothing wrong with that it was short-sighted. In addition of assisting them in the formation of their children we should have been asking the question, "What else do parents really need in life?"Tools like packets and programs have their place—but they miss the deeper invitation: to walk with parents, not as teachers, but as companions.
If we’re honest, most parents today don’t have time for another lesson plan. But you know what they are hungry for? Community. Trust. Friendship. Support. Not another religious obligation—but a place to be real, be known, and grow.
It’s tempting to think that if we just offer better resources or clearer curriculum, parents will be more engaged. But parents aren’t struggling because they don’t understand doctrine. They’re struggling because:
They feel alone and unseen.
They don’t know where to go with questions about parenting, mental health, or digital boundaries.
They don’t have other adults they trust who are walking the same road.
The Church isn’t just a dispenser of faith content. We are a community of believers, called to love one another and bear each other’s burdens. That includes helping parents navigate real-life challenges—like college admissions stress, digital addiction, or marriage tension—with compassion and solidarity.
Let’s define it. Authentic community isn't just about programs or potlucks. It's about this:
You are missed when you’re gone.
You can show up messy, tired, or doubting—and still be welcomed.
Conversations go beyond tasks to transformation.
People sacrifice convenience to help one another.
There’s rhythm and repeatability—not just one-off events.
These are the markers of community that changes lives.
Sometimes the best lessons come from outside the parish world. Here are a few secular spaces where people have cultivated deep, life-giving community:
Alcoholics Anonymous: A model built on vulnerability, consistency, and shared struggle. Trust doesn’t come from content—it comes from showing up.
Neighborhood Block Clubs: Rooted in place and practical needs, people come together to share meals, advocate, and support each other.
Parent Groups: These aren’t about lectures—they’re about solidarity. Parenting is hard, and people crave connection with others who get it.
CrossFit Gyms: Not spiritual at all, but they build strong communities. Why? Shared challenge. Encouragement. Consistency.
All of these succeed because they center on vulnerability, shared rhythms, and genuine care—things the Church can (and should) excel at.
Instead of starting with what parents need to learn, start with what they long for.
Create environments where parents connect with other adults beyond their kids' age group.
Invite mentors, not just speakers, into the mix.
Offer space for vulnerability, storytelling, and shared prayer.
Build programs that prioritize belonging over performance.
Start with a table, not a program. Host monthly meals with a simple prompt for sharing. It doesn't have to be at the parish—try a local coffee shop or restaurant where parents can simply talk and connect.
Design open-door rhythms. Create recurring, low-barrier events like a “Second Saturday Serve” or casual drop-ins during formation time. Offer good coffee, snacks, and no agenda—just a space to be present.
Pair people intentionally. Faith grows in friendships—not just formal groups. Offer real-life topical groups (working moms, raising teens, parents who coach) where conversation comes first and study comes later.
Offer support around real needs. Trust is earned when we help with what matters most—tech use, anxiety, college prep. Teaching faith is important, but we must meet parents in the realities they’re facing.
We are not an educational system. We are the Body of Christ on mission to bring people to Jesus. That means meeting people where they are—emotionally, physically, spiritually.
If we want parents to pass on the faith, we have to first invest in them as people. Because discipleship isn’t just about knowledge. It’s about relationship.
So the next time you plan something for parents, ask:
Will this help them feel seen?
Will this help them build trust?
Will this help them connect with others?
If the answer is yes, then you’re building more than a program. You’re building Church.