When it was time to collect phones, the groans were minimal.
Every year during our Confirmation retreat, we collect phones to help young people escape the noise of the world. In the past, teens would reluctantly hand over their phones, begging to check them occasionally, from maintaining a Snap Streak to insisting their parents would worry if they didn’t hear from them.
We’ve even had instances of tears, where parents had to step in to help calm their child down. But this year, something changed. While it’s just one year, we’ve noticed that our “no device” policy during youth ministry events hasn’t been met with much resistance.
I think people have had enough. Last year, one of the biggest complaints from small group leaders was how distracting devices were. During events like Vacation Bible School, even our peer leaders struggled to leave their phones in the break room. It’s no secret that mobile devices can be a distraction, but there was always a debate—should we leverage this technology in ministry or ban it outright?
Over the last two years we've seen our schools implement a stricter device policy. The fact that other institutions are making similar policies has reinforced our decisions. And while the trend seems to be more "device free" zones, it's important to:
Bring Parents Into The Planning
Some parents give their children phones for safety reasons, so if you’re going to take that away, you need to provide them with an alternative. Offer a direct phone line, a group chat, or a contact person they can reach in case of emergencies.
Also, clarify whether teens should leave their phones at home or if you'll be collecting them at the event. If collecting, explain where devices will be stored and how you’ll handle violations of the policy.
By communicating with parents upfront, you invite them into the process. This partnership increases the likelihood of their support and helps ensure a smoother transition for everyone involved.
Equip Your Leaders to Handle Device Etiquette
Taking away a phone can feel intimidating, especially if a leader doesn’t feel they have the authority. To set your team up for success, make sure they fully understand the policy and how to manage various situations.
Leaders should know why devices are not allowed, so they can explain it clearly to teens. If teens see it as a punishment, they’re more likely to resist. Leaders should also be trained on what to do if a teen violates the policy and how to navigate that conversation.
Lastly, be sure your leaders understand how they should use their own devices. It doesn’t help if leaders are glued to their phones while expecting teens to disconnect. While it's okay for leaders to keep their devices, model appropriate use so teens see the standard in action.
Teach Proper Technology Etiquette
The Church shouldn’t shy away from technology—there are many benefits, and it can be a great tool for ministry. Beyond just enforcing rules, we should teach young people how to use technology responsibly.
Though it’s a broad topic, you don’t have to cover it all. Start with areas that are already impacting teens, such as social media algorithms or the mental health effects of constant device use. You can invite experts from your parish or community, such as medical professionals, to educate teens and parents on the topic.
Additionally, get teens involved in creative projects that promote healthy technology use. For example, they can create a social media campaign to raise awareness about faith and justice issues or record testimonials after a retreat. The goal is to coach them, not just lecture them, on how to use technology mindfully.
Youth ministry should provide young people with a space where they can focus on building a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ—sometimes that means using technology, and sometimes it means stepping away from it. Whatever path you choose, be intentional in your approach. Communicate openly with your team and parents, and offer clear direction.
When your guidelines around technology are thoughtfully crafted and communicated, you’re showing teens and their families that you understand their world and want to support them in navigating it well—both in faith and in life.