Make Parents Your Allies

I had only been on the job for a few weeks when I received an angry phone call from a parent.  She was upset because I had not placed her son in the same small group as his friends.  It was an honest mistake, they had not made any special requests on the registration form and I was new to the community.  She told me, “It’s a great injustice what you’ve done.” Really?  I couldn’t believe it, my first interaction with parents and it wasn’t a good one.

Parents can be one of the largest challenges in youth ministry; however, they are also one of the biggest opportunities.  When you partner with parents you can be a larger influence in a teen’s faith formation.  By letting mom and dad know that you are invested in them, they’ll allow you deeper into their child’s life.  To truly partner with parents and gain them as allies make sure you:

• Keep Them Up To Date: Whenever there is a gap in the communication it can be filled with suspicion or trust.  Don’t take the risk and assume their teen’s tell them.  Communicate to your parents about what is happening in the ministry.  Create community through a Facebook page, keep them informed with a newsletter or give them a call to talk about their teen (Good or Bad).

• Draw Clear Expectations: If parents do not have a clear vision of your role in their life they’ll come to their own conclusions.  Earn their respect by giving them expectations of the relationship you have with them.  Make sure they know you aren’t a babysitting service, or a replacement for them in their child’s faith formation.  Love them and challenge them and they’ll see you more as a partner and less as a commodity. 

• Put Them First: Just like you might think parents are out to get you, they can feel like you are out to get them.  Teens will try to leverage you against their parents to get something they want.  If you choose the teen over the parent, you’ll loose the parent’s trust.  If the parent doesn’t trust you they won’t bring their teens to you.  Make sure parents know that you have their back.

Parents will love you if they see that you are serious about walking with them and their teen in their faith journey.  They appreciate the times you are at their teen’s soccer games, sending a supportive text before a test or mailing their child a birthday card.  Give your parents attention, let them know you are there because together you build momentum behind a teen’s spiritual journey.

How do you partner with parents?