What It Looks Like To REALLY Partner With Parents

Even as a parent I still find serving other parents a little overwhelming. One moment they can seem pleasant, the next moment it feels like they are coming at you with a thousand emotions. It can drive a youth minister crazy. If you are intimidated or overwhelmed by parents the problem isn’t them, it’s your strategy for serving them.

Courtesy of John Picken/Creative Commons License

A lot of youth ministers (Including myself) have pounded the drum, “PARTNER WITH PARENTS” and “GET THE PARENTS MORE INVOLVED“. Here’s the question:

“What does it really look like to partner with parents?”

It’s more than a newsletter. It’s definitely more than just telling people that’s what you are doing. It involves getting into intense relationships and leaning into the messiness of parenting.  A few steps you and your youth ministry can take to better partner with parents is by:

WAITING BY THE DOOR

Wait by the door before and after the program to best encounter parents. Before program you can let them know what to expect. After the program you can let them know what you covered. 

Make sure you (Or a trusted volunteer) is always there a couple of minutes before and after, that way you are ready. If a parent doesn’t get out of their car walk with the teen and approach the parent yourself. 

INCLUDE THEM IN THE CONVERSATION

While you have influence on a teenager’s life it’s never as powerful as a parents. If a teen is struggling encourage the teen to include the parent. Arrange a time when the teen, their parents and you can sit down and talk about the situation.

It might be uncomfortable at first, but it builds trust. Parents will see that you are willing to partner with them. And they’ll see that you do care for their teen. This can also be a teaching moment for teens on how to work with their parents.

AVOID EMAIL

It’s easy to rely on email for important conversations. In fact it’s more comfortable because you can carefully script out the conversation and erase all emotion. But, emails are a slower and sometimes ineffective way of building relationships.

If a parent has an important matter to discuss call them or arrange a face to face. It might feel messy, but it will help avoid any unnecessary confusion (i.e. reading something out of context).

Working with parents is an important part of your ministry. Without parents your influence on a teen’s faith formation is limited. A teen can still grow in their faith, but it won’t be easy if your ministry doesn’t partner with the parents.

[reminder] What has worked when it comes to partnering with parents? [/reminder]