Years ago, a friend invited me to check out his youth ministry. He told me he wanted someone with a fresh perspective to observe and share notes—what he was doing well and where he might grow.
My initial reaction was reluctance. I assumed that if I said yes, I’d eventually have to do the same. And I wasn’t sure I wanted an “outsider” seeing all my flaws. But he really wanted the feedback, so I agreed.
It turned out to be a great experience. Not only was he running a strong ministry, but I learned a lot just by watching. He had a solid hospitality team. The space was well organized. The flow of the night was smooth and intentional.
The next day, he reached out, we scheduled a time to talk, and I shared my notes.
After seeing how helpful the conversation was for him, I decided to invite him to visit my ministry. Over the next few years, anytime I needed a fresh perspective, I’d invite a trusted ministry friend to come observe—not to critique, but to notice what I could no longer see.
That’s not to say insiders don’t matter. They absolutely do. But there’s something uniquely valuable about a fresh set of eyes. When someone from outside your ministry observes what you do, they can:
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Affirm the good things you’ve stopped noticing
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Bring to light strengths and weaknesses you might be missing
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Ask questions that force you to articulate why you do what you do
If you want to take this a step further, try something even simpler: ask a friend—or a fellow youth minister—to send a few teens to check out your ministry.
Don’t tell your volunteers or peer leaders that “outsiders” are coming. Let those teens experience your ministry as someone new would. Pay attention to how they’re invited, welcomed, and included. Afterwards, ask them:
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What did you like about your experience?
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What was confusing or challenging?
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How did you feel when you arrived, and how did you feel when you left?
Resist the urge to explain or justify. Just listen. Take notes. Then process the feedback with your team.
If you make this a regular habit, you’ll start to uncover blind spots—and opportunities—you didn’t know were there. And over time, you’ll create a better experience not just for visitors, but for the young people who show up every week.
All it takes is the courage to ask.