Is Your Ministry Empathetic Towards Parents?

I once believed that I completely understood parents. This was before I ever became one myself. After all I had younger siblings and cousins and I was a professional youth minister, what was there to learn that I didn’t already know? Then my son Matthew was born and I realized I was being a complete ass.

I’m not saying that people without kids can’t help parents, if anything parents need you. But, one of the biggest challenges youth workers face (parent or not) is developing a sense of empathy towards what parents experience on a day to day basis.

In fact, it’s really easy to accuse parents of outsourcing their child’s discipleship to the church and not putting faith as a priority for the family. It’s really easy to call parents crazy when they get all emotional over whether or not their teen is connecting with your ministry. Parents are a good scapegoat when we don’t see the results that we desire, but are all of our accusations fair?

While there is some truth behind our struggles to minister towards parents we still need to show compassion and empathy. To build a ministry that works better with parents we have to recognize:

There is no manual that comes with the child

There are a ton of books on parenting but because each child is so unique there is still a lot you have to learn on the go. Even if you get the first one “right” the next one could be a total curve ball. Because there is no manual those of us who work with families have to offer extra grace.

It’s difficult to communicate passion

No one wants to be that parent that fails their child and becomes the subject of therapy. The emotion to getting it right and providing everything for your child is immense. When that pressure boils over working with those parents can be difficult. It’s during these moments we have to remember that it’s not about us.

Just because they were raised Catholic, doesn’t mean they know how to raise their own

Just because parents are the primary influence in a child’s life, it doesn’t mean they have all the answers to their child’s faith questions. First, it’s difficult when your child answers any question and when it comes to the more profound pieces of our faith we need assistance, that’s where the church can be a blessing.

By recognizing these realities we can build a compassion that enables us to serve parents effectively. To then show that compassion and empathy we need to:

EMPOWER YOUR LEADERS TO BE THE FRONTLINE

Parents need you more than you might believe, but your accessibility is limited. Equipping your ministry with adult leaders not only helps you pull off the logistics, but extend the relational side that everyone craves. Make sure your leaders are reaching out to the parents. Remind them that their ministry will go further is they work with the parent and not just the teen.

Ask your leaders what they’re learning about the teen’s family and make sure the parents can name who their child’s small group leader is. Help your leaders get to know parents by hosting family nights, making formal introductions during program and providing them with the proper contact info.

MAKE ALL YOUR RESOURCES ACCESSIBLE

Whether it’s a weekly newsletter, or a webpage with resources make sure parents can tap into what you are using and learning. Remind them constantly that it exists and how they can access it. If you don’t have time for a newsletter create a share drive like Dropbox or Google Drive and upload anything and everything you can use.

MEET WITH PARENTS REGULARLY TO LEARN FROM THEM

Your week should be filled with relational interactions. It could be formal or informal, anything from grabbing a cup of coffee to holding a parents night will enable you to tap more into their world. At the same time it will show parents that you care and the trust you build will be priceless.

WHEN YOU DO INTERACT WITH THEM ASK THEM, “HOW’S YOUR SOUL TODAY?”

When you talk with parents don’t just ask them about their teens. Check in with them and ask them about their lives and their relationship with Jesus Christ. Show them that you care about them just as much as you care about their teens. Again, they’ll start to trust you because they’ll know that you really do care.

You don’t have to be a parent to build a ministry that shows empathy and compassion towards them. It takes intentional relationship building and encouragement. The more you work with parents, the more access you’ll have to their teens and the bigger your impact will be on their family.

How are you showing empathy and compassion towards parents?