If you had to walk away from ministry to save your family would you? Before you quickly respond think about it. Is the line clear? Probably not, I know because I’ve been there.
Walking away from ministry for your family is difficult because it might be something you love. It’s something that you might have been doing before you got married and had kids. But, you know it’s time to walk away when:
YOU BEGIN TO RESENT ONE OVER THE OTHER
Ministry is not your typical 9 to 5 job. There will be seasons when priorities at the church and home collide. There will be tension and that tension can bring frustration. What you do with it is important.
If all you do is take that frustration out on coworkers or family members it’s time to check your heart. The best thing to do at this time is:
- Sit down with a spiritual director or accountability partner
- Take a day off or go on retreat to spend time in prayer
You want to slow yourself down and process what’s going on inside. Taking the extra steps will help you determine whether you just need to make some minor tweaks or major career changes.
KEY MOMENTS GET OVERLOOKED
Again, there will be times when you have to choose work over family and family over work. The key is to communicate about those situations with your spouse and kids.
The moment you begin to assume is the moment you start traveling down that slippery slope. Even if it seems like something small ask your family member, “Is this important?”
And if their answer is, “Yes it is.” then you know your answer. The more you communicate the less likely you’ll miss something big.
FAMILY STARTS WALKING AWAY FROM THEIR FAITH
While you might not resent your job your family could and that can be hard to turn around. That’s where it’s important to have a conversation about boundaries such as:
- Hours and work commitments
- What “baggage” about coworkers and parishioners you bring home
- How much of your personal life you use in your teachings and messages
You might have good intentions behind your decisions but if it pulls you away from the ones that love you they won’t care.
Fortunately, ministry has never cost me my family but it has gotten close. I’ve been blessed with a supportive wife and friends who have helped me notice the red flags.
If you are in a season when the balance between family and ministry is blurred get help. It’s something you shouldn’t try to resolve on your own.
It might mean walking away, but you can always get another ministry job. But, family…those wounds will be way to deep and some may never heal.
What are some other warning signs that ministry is costing your family?
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