“I just don’t get it, but I trust that you do.”
My pastor had stopped by our high school program. Something goofy had happened that he didn’t quite understand. It felt a little strange to him, but he could see the teens were engaged—so ultimately, he had no issue with it.
It’s great when our pastors not only care, but are actually present in the ministries we lead. We don’t want them to micromanage us, but when they show up, it communicates something important: this matters.
But what do you do when your pastor is absent?
How do you invite him in without making it feel forced?
BRIDGE THE GAP
If your pastor greets people before or after Mass, go stand with him a couple of times.
When you see people from your ministry—parents, teens, volunteers—introduce them. Help him learn names. Share a quick highlight. Remove some of the mystery around what you do.
You can also create small, intentional moments of connection. Ask your pastor if you can invite a volunteer or a teen to a leadership space like a parish council or staff meeting. Frame it simply: they’re there to listen and learn what happens behind the scenes.
This does two things. It helps your pastor meet people from your ministry, and it shows those individuals that their presence matters at a deeper level.
SHARE THE DATA
Whenever I came across research about the next generation—a blog post, podcast, or article—I’d share it with coworkers and my pastor.
Sometimes it was as simple as forwarding an email. Other times, I’d invite him into a conversation:
“Hey, I’d love for you to read this. I have a couple of questions and would really value your input.”
Sometimes those conversations turned into coffee meetings. Other times, it was just a quick comment in passing.
If your pastor is already doing his own reading, great. But when you consistently share key insights, you help him stay connected to what’s happening in your world—without requiring him to figure it out on his own.
KNOW THE HISTORY
I’ve met several priests over the years who hesitate to engage with young people—not because they don’t care, but because they’re unsure how.
I’ve heard things like:
“I don’t know what’s appropriate.”
“Teens won’t talk to me—I’m old.”
Your pastor’s level of engagement is often shaped by his past experiences.
Maybe he’s cautious because of everything surrounding the abuse scandals.
Maybe he didn’t grow up with youth ministry and doesn’t know what his role should look like.
Maybe his interactions with young people have been limited to a few family members.
It’s not your responsibility to fix that. But it is helpful to understand it.
Take time to learn his concerns, his hesitations, and even his assumptions about young people.
If there’s hesitation, create simple pathways. Pair him with a trusted adult leader who can serve as a bridge. Invite him to environments where he can observe without pressure. Point him toward voices or resources that can give him confidence.
When you understand where he’s coming from, you can be more intentional in how you invite him in.
I do believe most pastors care about the next generation.
There are a lot of good priests who want to support young people and are doing meaningful work in their parishes.
Sometimes they just need help finding their way into it.
And that’s where you come in—not to force involvement, but to build a bridge.