I had taken vacations and time away before, but this was going to be the first major program I was going to miss.
I was in my second year in ministry and heading out of town for a wedding. As the weekend approached, I told myself I had everything in order. Volunteers were scheduled. Materials were prepped. My coworkers knew the plan.
And yet, most of that weekend I found myself wondering:
Did I miss something?
When I returned, I learned that not everything went according to plan. A few details were off. A couple transitions were clunky.
But nothing collapsed.
However, the angst I felt from wondering, "Could the ministry exist without me?" ruined a few moments from that weekend. It was unfortunate that I could never really unplug and live in the moment.
We can’t function this way. It prevents us from building something beyond ourselves. And it traps us into believing nothing can happen without us.
Why Ministry Scope Creeps
Lent is a reasonable time to reflect—not just on our prayer life, but on where our time and responsibility actually go.
Ministry scope rarely explodes overnight. It expands gradually.
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A volunteer steps back, so you absorb it.
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A parent emails, so you fix it.
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A pastor says, “Can you also…?” and you say yes.
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A tradition exists, so you maintain it.
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No one formally rewrites your job description.
It just grows.
And because you care deeply about young people, because you feel responsible, because you’re competent, it keeps growing.
Many youth ministry point leaders already feel the tension of carrying more responsibility than their authority supports . They feel behind even when they’re constantly working .
Scope doesn’t crush you all at once.
It slowly convinces you that everything depends on you.
Believing the Lie
At some point, most ministry leaders internalize the thought:
“If I stop, it falls apart.”
And sometimes, if you step away, things do wobble.
But here’s the deeper issue:
When everything depends on you, you haven’t built ministry, you’ve built dependency.
That isn’t a character flaw. It’s usually the result of loyalty, unclear expectations, and a slow expansion of responsibility over time.
But it isn’t sustainable.
If your ministry can only function when you are present, it is fragile.
And fragile systems exhaust the people holding them together.
Three Categories of Responsibility
If you’re willing, take ten minutes this week and do something simple.
Divide a blank page into three columns.
1. Essential
These are responsibilities directly tied to your role:
- Core sacramental preparation oversight
- Direct relational ministry with young people
- Clear mission-aligned leadership tasks
If these disappear, the heart of your ministry suffers.
These stay.
2. Expected
These are responsibilities that exist because they’ve always existed:
- Annual events that “we just do”
- Extra meetings
- Communication layers
- Traditions that haven’t been questioned
These may be good.
But they are adjustable.
They require conversation. Not silent endurance.
3. Self-Imposed
This is often the heaviest column.
- “I should.”
- “A good youth minister would…”
- “If I don’t, no one will.”
Many leaders are quietly looking for permission to say no .
This category rarely comes from a job description. It comes from internal pressure.
And it is usually the first place burnout hides.
Building Beyond Yourself
Eventually, I learned that my absence didn’t destroy ministry.
It exposed where we needed clearer roles.
It invited volunteers to step up.
It revealed what was truly essential—and what wasn’t.
Perfection isn’t the goal.
Shared ownership is.
If you are afraid to step away, even briefly, it may be less about dedication and more about unclear responsibility.
Lent offers a quiet invitation:
Where are you spending energy that isn’t actually yours to carry?
Because if the whole thing collapses without you, the solution isn’t working harder.
It’s carrying less.
At Marathon Youth Ministry, we created Ministry 2 Go (M2GO), to help leaders clarify what’s essential so you can build ministry that survives beyond your personal capacity. If you are looking for guidance on building your team, check it out HERE.