One of my biggest worries about holding parent meetings was that parents would walk away thinking, "This could have been communicated by email."
This worry only escalated as I became a parent myself. Whether it was back-to-school night, a meeting with coaches, or something at the church, it was clear who was and was not wasting our time. No one intended it, but it was the reality in most cases.
When it came to Confirmation preparation, the parent meetings were the most intimidating. You had parents who had experienced their fair share of awful parent meetings. So, in addition to planning an excellent meeting, you had to convince them to walk in with an open mind. I'd like to say I got it right every year, but here is what I learned worked.
LET THEM KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT
You don't have to give them every single detail of the meeting, but let them know why they should attend and what they'll get out of it. When it came to Confirmation info meetings, I told parents that in addition to reviewing logistics, they would learn how to better connect with their teens through this process and discover how the Church would support them in their own faith.
We would then tell them to be ready to share how they felt about the journey they were about to take. We wanted them ready to engage, not just listen and ask questions.
USE THE TIME TO GET THEM AHEAD
We would also tell parents to bring their teens to the information session. We wanted everyone on the same page, but not just with the logistics. We wanted parents and teens to experience praying together and sharing the faith with one another. While we hoped this would not be the first time, we didn't want to assume. We wanted families to walk away understanding what the year might look and feel like so they were confident in their decision to move forward.
What we did was pretty simple. We would provide a little catechesis around an aspect of sharing the faith and then give them time to discuss it. Afterward, we would give parents time to tell their child, "This is why I want this for you," and the child would respond, "This is why I would want this."
It wasn't always smooth. People felt a little awkward at first, but it helped them realize that preparation was more than a series of classes for teens. It was an experience for the whole family to recommit to or deepen their faith.
PROVIDE A THEREFORE WHAT
While we didn't want them to leave feeling like they had homework, we did want them to have a tangible next step. Most times it was, "Try to introduce a new faith element into your family rhythm, like praying before meals or hanging a cross in the family room." Then we would check in and follow up. We asked our Confirmation mentors and catechists to talk with parents about it. Even if parents knew what to do with what we gave them, everyone needs a little accountability.
We trained our leaders not to ask out of judgment but out of curiosity. We wanted parents and teens to see that they weren't on the journey alone.
Parent meetings don't have to be painful. Yes, if you encourage more engagement or challenge parents to do more than show up, you'll get a little pushback (More on why parents might pushback click HERE). But that pushback comes from the fear that their time is being wasted. If you give them clear expectations and invite them to participate when they show up, they'll see that you value their time.
We understand that walking with parents can be difficult. If you need assistance or are looking for resources, M2GO has micro-courses and quick trainings for you and your team to get better at walking with parents. Visit https://marathonyouthministry.com/m2go.