After I got home from the first Communion Mass, I sat on our couch, turned on the television, and fell asleep. I was tired because a year of ministry had caught up, and my body needed a break. When I woke up two hours later, I was reminded that while ministry is rewarding, it can wear you out. Even if your parish is well staffed and has many resources, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual wear and tear need to be addressed because if all you do is go, you’ll find yourself burning out in fashion.
Self-care is problematic for ministry leaders to embrace. Putting others’ needs before your own is a shadow side of many ministry leaders’ motivational drive to serve. God commands us to love others, but not before ourselves; instead, he says, “love others as yourself“. We can’t give what we don’t have, and after a long season or year of ministry, it’s crucial to find ways of recovering a refueling. Just as you would fill up your car and take rest stops during a long journey, ministry leaders need to do the same throughout the year. So, what does it look like to recover?
The tendency is to shut things down during the summer or Christmas break. And while it’s healthy to have longer vacations, stopping once a year is not enough; if anything, it can be more harmful. As a runner, I know if I go more than a week and a half without working out or running, my progress diminishes. At the same time, if I go fun every day, I’m going to burn out. If you want to recover, it means you need to:
Make sure you honor the sabbath weekly. Your day off should not be a moving target. Whether it’s Wednesday, Friday or Saturday, make sure the day you take off is consistent and sacred. No emails, no meetings, just you refueling and connecting with God.
Use up all your vacation and leave time. While the week-long vacation in the summer is good, there are other times of the year when you can get away. Even if you don’t take your family or go anywhere, a little staycation can do the body good.
Schedule for yourself an annual retreat. In addition to some rest, it’s good to find spiritual nourishment. I struggle the most, but finding a retreat that you don’t have to run is rewarding to recovering the soul.
Book the big trip ahead of time. While I’m all about last-minute escapes, make sure you have the big trips and vacations planned ahead of time. It’ll give you margin with how you plan and prepare people when you are away.
Pace out your recovery time, and you’ll find yourself more at ease and relaxed.
It can be challenging to worship where you work. While there are valid arguments for worshipping at a different parish than where you are employed, I think the benefits of being invested in the community that employs you are valuable. However, it does come with the risk of blurring the lines between work and worship. That’s why it’s essential to find some separation when you pray, and once in a while, it’s okay to attend Mass at a different church.
But, probably the best way of separating work and worship is finding the guidance of a spiritual director or mentor. You need someone who will hold you accountable to your prayer life and help you recognize when you are fading from God. Even if you don’t struggle with separating faith at home from work, having a spiritual director ensures your prayer life does not grow stale.
I miss not being in my early twenties when I could eat endlessly and not suffer any consequences. Now I know that I have to eat right, work out regularly, and get enough sleep to keep up with the young church. I’m not saying we all have to become ultra-marathoners that live off kale chips; however, healthy habits will help you think better and give you the energy to overcome stressful times.
The first step is to schedule that annual (or sometimes more) physical with your doctor. It’s also good to find a community of like-minded individuals. I have two friends that I go running with, and when I’ve had to change up my diet finding an accountability partner has been essential to my success. Staying physically healthy can feel like a battle, but it’s important not to give up. When you feel good physically, you can be present for all those fantastic moments in your ministry.
I’ve been in therapy for the last seven years. I was struggling because there were things in my job that brought up old wounds. While running and my prayer life helped, a little more work needed to be done to resolve the problems I was facing. Since entering into therapy, I’ve found it a perfect compliment to my spiritual and physical well-being. It allows me to process the thoughts and fears that go through my head in a safe space. I’m not saying everyone should be in therapy, but it is important to take mental health seriously.
In addition to therapy, I’ve found that journaling and hiking are two exercises that help me process my thoughts. Even if nothing traumatic has happened in my life, there are times when my mind is racing with ideas that I cannot process internally. If you are unsure where to start, reach out to your health care provider and ask them for recommendations.
You might be wrapping up the year or getting ready for the next. No matter what season of ministry you are in, make sure you take the time to rest, recover and refuel. Ministry is a marathon, and it’s so fortunate to have you as a part of it. Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to experience the love that you deserve.