It happens every year. We’re two weeks away from the Confirmation Retreat, and I get a phone call or email from a parent asking me, “Is it okay if my kid leaves the retreat for part of the day for a tournament.” I want to say, “No, not at all.” but I know there is a deeper story. I ask the parent about the tournament, and then I ask them how they communicate the situation with their kid. Most times, I’m able to convince them that missing the retreat would diminish the entire experience, but there are those few times when the parents say, “Yeah, sorry, my kid can’t miss this event.”
It’s hard to blame the kids when the parents don’t buy into what you are trying to do. The kids will follow if a parent is behind your ministry and program. We need to learn how to communicate and share the value to increase the buy-in. And the way you can do that is by:
STARTING AT AN EARLY AGE
Your parish should begin discussing children and youth ministry at marriage prep and baptism classes. This is the point when people are thinking about their future and starting to make decisions that will impact their kids. Your parish needs to offer them practical steps and explain what they can expect from enrolling their children in your programming. Please don’t limit the conversation to resources they can do at home. Make sure you talk to them about what it means to incorporate parish life into their family life.
BEING TRANSPARENT WITH RESOURCES
Some parents won’t buy into your programs because they have no clue what is happening and base their assumptions on past experiences. To them, faith formation and youth ministry might be a class or a social club that is replaceable. Showing parents what their kids are learning, inviting them to witness the programs, and introducing them to the leaders will help them see that your ministry is more than a class.
You can make your materials accessible by sharing them in a weekly newsletter. Create special days when parents can be a fly on the wall for an extensive group program. And remind your small group leaders to reach out to parents consistently to tell them what’s going on in the ministry. Don’t let what you do remain a mystery.
INVEST IN THEIR FORMATION
A parent might not value the formation they provide for their kids because they struggle with their faith journey. Parents need resources beyond parenting and family ministry, and parents need ministry resources designed for adults in all walks of life.
Sit down with your pastor and everyone involved in catechetical ministry at the parish to discuss what you offer for adults. If there is nothing outside of RCIA and serving, start looking at developing Bible studies, retreats, and small groups. By creating adult ministry programming, you are showing parents that their faith still matters and offering the next generation that you are never done growing.
In addition to tweaking your programming, you must also CLARIFY THE WHY BEHIND WHAT YOU DO. In other words, why does catechetical and formation matter so much to the Church’s life? If you struggle to answer that question or respond clearly, make sure you take time to work on that message. Because when you are meeting with new or expecting parents, recruiting volunteers, and inviting young people to the program, you have to know why it matters to their present and future selves. When you do that, you can create more buy-in, and fewer people will choose other things over parish life.
How do you increase buy-in from parents in your parish?