How To Embrace Conflict At Work

You ever see that sign? You know the one that maybe isn’t directed at you, but it implies that you don’t know the obvious like, “Keep things clean” or “Property of …”? While signs can be informative and helpful they can also be an indication that someone doesn’t like conflict.

If you are in ministry it means you have to work with people and if you work with people it means there will be conflict. While you don’t have to love conflict you should embrace it and:

DEAL WITH IT HEAD ON

The more you let it linger the more the conflict grows out of control.  The reason it gets out of control is because:

• There is no communication to clarify the situation.
• The imagination takes over reality and a culture of gossip emerges.
• Forward progress is stalled because each party is stuck in the past.

The problem is that no one wants to deal with conflict even if they know the long term consequences. To overcome this hurdle a team needs to develop TRUST. And that trust comes from:

GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER PERSONALLY

It’s easier to deal with conflict when you know:

• What is going on in a person’s life.
• The personality, strengths, and weaknesses of those you interact with.

When you know the story it can give you the compassion to diffuse any hard feelings you might have.  It’s not condoning the poor behavior, but it’s giving you the context to address it. What starts out in conflict can turn into pastoral love.

SEPARATING IDEAS FROM CHARACTER

Most of us want real feedback when it comes to our ideas, we just don’t always know how to deal with it. That’s because we feel really connected to them and when someone attacks our ideas we feel like they attack our character.

At the same time when we don’t like someone’s ideas, it’s best to let them know. Don’t pretend that every idea is a good one. While everyone has a right to express them, there are some really bad ones out there.

To separate the ideas from the character you need to first acknowledge that you hear their idea, but just disagree. If you are the leader make the decision you feel is best. If they are the leader respect their position.

Even if you can separate the ideas from the character there will still be hurt feelings; however, you move from those feelings quickly because everyone will have felt heard.

COMMUNICATING WITH QUALITY AND FREQUENCY

Trust comes from knowing where the other person stands on an idea or position. Communicating constantly affirms that clarity and will help you and someone who doesn’t agree on an issue can move through the conflict.

And while you might take comfort in texting or email, make sure that most of your communication is done face to face. Email and text lack tone and body language, which can lead to miscues on intentions. And the last thing you need is an unnecessary conflict caused by miscommunication.

BRINGING EVERYTHING TO PRAYER

A team that prays together learns to love one another through God’s eyes. You will still have conflict; however, it brings in someone who will guide you through the situation with His grace. To do this:

• Start and end a meeting with prayer. With the Holy Spirit present, you’ll know how to navigate the conversation.
• Pray regularly with your coworkers to share intentions and pray over big projects.
• Make it a priority in your personal life so that you are handing over every emotion and situation to God.

It might seem cliche but the more you bring prayer into your work life the more you’ll know how to navigate the tension and drama that sometimes fills your day.

In the end, the conflict will never go away, but you’ll learn not to fear it. Instead of shoving it under the rug and acting in a passive aggressive manner you will be able to address it early. And when you can move through it and work together amazing things will happen.