How To Allow Your Teens To Be Vulnerable

When a student walks into your ministry are they ready to learn?  One approach is to entice them with a better picture of what life could be.  While that can work you still need to make sure they can feel vulnerable.

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When a teen is vulnerable it means they’ve let down their guard.  A vulnerable teen is one that is willing to grow and listen.  To give them that permission you need to:

CONNECT THEM WITH AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP

Large events and programs are fun and can be life changing, but to get a teen to really open up there needs to be an authentic relationship.  We do that through:

• Small Groups: In small groups teens can have a more focused conversation about faith and their own lives.  On top of it you are giving them a small community who cares for them.

• Mentoring: To get the most out of someone you need to coach them up.  Mentoring allows us to give a teen an adult to pull back the layers that prevent them from opening up.

When you give teenagers authentic relationships you give them permission to be the person God has created them to be.  While setting is important you also need to find adults who:

• Remember it’s about God: They know that if they can connect a teen with His word and love then they’ll be able to see how much they are truly loved.

• Aren’t concerned with themselves: If a leader is worried about how a teenager will see them it will prevent them from opening up.  You need leaders who are confident with their strengths and know that God uses everyone to do His work.

By providing authentic relationships you will take teens to a new level of vulnerability that will continue to open them to God’s work.

CHALLENGE THEM TO FIND ANSWERS

It’s easy to give someone an answer (Even if you don’t know if it’s right), but we can’t operate that way.  If you want teens to open themselves up you need to challenge them to grow.

Help them explore the questions they have and give them tools to do that.  When you show the next generation that leaders are learners then they’ll be more open to listening to what the church has to say. (For more check out this excellent Ted Talk from Ken Jennings HERE)

PUSH THEM OUTSIDE OF THEIR COMFORT ZONES

A safe youth ministry is one that just focuses on pleasing the students.  The problem with a safe youth ministry is that it creates guarded Christians.  Take students outside of their comfort zone by:

• Providing opportunities to serve people different from them.

• Introducing paradoxical situations.

• Asking them to lead peers and adults.

When a student is pushed outside of their comfort zone they are given the opportunity to see what is possible with God.

As a leader create these environments and opportunities; however, don’t forget you need to make sure they see you go first.  When you create a place where people are vulnerable you create an environment where disciples can continue to grow.