Our youth ministry recently held a Q&A session with our pastor. The purpose of the event was to increase interactions between youth and leadership in the parish. To facilitate the conversation, we used a text-to-screen software called Mentimeter. This software allowed our teens to be anonymous with their questions and comments.
While we allowed teens to ask questions, we also asked them a few, such as:
What are the most challenging things teens are dealing with these days?
What subjects should the Church be addressing?
Most of their responses to those questions circled the topics of anxiety and depression. It was clear that the young people in our parish were hurting, but the reality was that they were not alone.
Over the past few months, I’ve discovered more and more teens, parents, volunteers, and even church workers who are overwhelmed by life. Whether it’s stress, anxiety, or depression is hard to determine (I’m not a medical professional), but it is clear that we need to discuss this as a Church.
As someone who has battled anxiety and depression throughout my entire life, this is what I do know:
There is a lot of shame that surrounds this subject. A few years ago, when I burned out, I was facing a lot of anxiety and what made it worse was the fear that people would find out that I did not have my house in order. I was angry all the time, not sleeping, and spiraling out of control. It was not until I started talking with others and admitting that I had things to sort out that I was able to find the necessary healing.
Taking that initial step to talk about your mental health is complex. The first step is to admit that you are struggling and offer it up to God. The next step is to talk with someone you know that you can trust. It also helps to research to realize that you are not alone.
Talking about mental health issues alone won’t make the problem disappear, but it does start to address it. Letting people know that they are not alone in their struggles creates accountability and can lead to the proper help. Again, I was scared at first to open up, but what helped me was realizing that my story could help someone else. If anything, my account might permit someone else to talk openly about their struggles, and that’s worth it.
You can’t pray all of your mental health issues away but, it’s tough to overcome any of them without prayer. Whether it’s a meditative prayer like the liturgy of the hours or journaling, prayer allows you to center your mind on God, and prayer opens your heart to His transformative power.
Praying through anxiety or pain can be difficult, and that’s why having a prayer partner, small group, or spiritual director is essential. By surrounding yourself with people who care for you, they can pray for you when you can’t find the strength to do it yourself.
And sometimes, we struggle to pray through our hardships because our prayer life has grown stale. It’s good to sign up for a retreat or meet with a spiritual director because it’ll freshen up your routine. Just like working out, you sometimes need to change up your exercises to continue to grow your faith.
Throughout high school and college, I went to therapy. I started going because my parent’s divorce was causing depression. Through high school and college, my therapists were able to guide me through the array of emotions and thoughts going through my mind. When I graduated, I thought I was done with therapy, but then six years ago, life exploded.
I can’t share the whole story here (There is not enough space), but I started on a path of burnout that jeopardized my career, family, and faith. Success from my parish, books, and having a young family was too much. The pressure from work, success, and having everything together was messing with my mind. Fortunately, my wife had the insight to suggest that I seek help, and for the last six years, I’ve been seeing a therapist who has helped me find healing and peace.
There is nothing wrong with seeing a professional counselor or therapist, and there is nothing wrong with not having your life entirely in order. If anything admitting to my brokenness has made me stronger. I know the pandemic has challenged us all, but having a path and plan for spiritual and emotional renewal will guide us through.
If you are struggling or know someone who is, I encourage you to seek the needed help. You can start by talking to your primary care physician and consulting with the person who oversees your health benefits. And if your thoughts are suicidal, call this immediately: 1-800-273-8255 SUICIDE HOTLINE
And if you are a leader in a faith community, do not be afraid to discuss these issues with your team and congregation. Develop forums where people can find healing, offer experiences that bring spiritual renewal and healing. Most importantly, remind people of God’s loving light that will always pierce through the darkness.