A few years ago, I remember sitting in my office staring at registration for our youth kickoff, wondering, "Is anyone going to show?" I had just started at the parish, so I did not have a great "feel" for what to expect. I had poured hours into rebuilding the ministry but the lack of response had me nervous.
While we ended up having a decent showing, the stress of planning, coordinating and advertising was too much. That’s when it hit me: to get teens to engage with the ministry I had to change my approach. Instead of only inviting teens into our world we had to be willing to step into theirs.
Since then, I’ve learned something simple but game-changing: if you want to engage teens (or anyone) in parish life, you need to engage in their lives first. Go to the places they already are—games, shows, workplaces, social spots. Say hi. Celebrate their wins. Ask about their lives before you ask them to show up to yours.
It’s not always convenient. It’s definitely not glamorous. But it works.
And here’s the thing—it’s not just about youth ministry. It’s about reshaping how we all, as a parish, approach connection.
So how do we start building that kind of culture?
It’s one thing to talk about being more present. It’s another to build a system and rhythm around it. If we want presence to stick—not just as a personal habit, but as a ministry mindset—we need to shift how we think about engagement on every level.
Here are three areas where parish leaders can take practical steps to foster a culture of connection:
BE PRESENT IN THE COMMUNITY
This is the foundational shift. We can’t expect people to walk through our doors if we’re never walking through theirs.
Take ministry outside the building. Hold staff meetings at the local diner or coffee shop.
Show up at community events. Cancel youth ministry one week to attend the high school football game or school play.
Volunteer where they are. Encourage staff to give a few hours each month to local schools, sports leagues, or outreach centers—on the clock.
Get to know names. Make it a team challenge: how many people in the community (baristas, cashiers, ushers) can you greet by name this month?
CELEBRATE WHAT MATTERS TO THEM
When we honor the wins, joys, and milestones that matter to our community, we send a clear message: “We see you. We’re with you. We care.”
Acknowledge wins in the bulletin or from the pulpit. Celebrate the school play, the state championship, or even midterms being over.
Honor milestones publicly. When teens receive sacraments, highlight them by name and invite school representatives to attend.
Make invitations personal. Once relationships are built, asking “Are you coming to the event next week?” feels more like a connection than a pitch.
RETHINK HOW YOU WORK
Creating a culture of presence means changing more than our calendars—it means changing our conversations and expectations as a team.
Change the questions you ask at staff meetings. Try:
“Where were you in the community this week?”
“What did you learn about our mission field?”
Adjust priorities. Replace “butts in seats” with “hearts we’ve connected with.”
Be okay with small starts. The goal isn’t instant crowds. It’s slow, steady trust that leads to long-term growth.
This mindset—of going first, of showing up—applies across every age group and every ministry.
Parents, young adults, volunteers, the disengaged… all of them are more likely to lean into the life of the parish if they’ve first been seen and valued outside of it.
If we want our parishes to grow, it won’t come from better flyers or bigger events. It will come from being present—one genuine connection at a time.
Where are you showing up in your community this week? And how is your parish making that kind of engagement a priority? (Share your thoughts in the comments)