Healing Youth Ministry Wounds

For the first three years of ministry I felt that there were certain people out there trying to sabotage me.  Sounds ridiculous; however, there were incidences that I held onto that created these wounds.  Ministers going against my instructions and not seeing eye to eye with certain parents built feelings of bitterness.  It was hurting me as a leader and disciple of Christ.  

One day I was sharing an angry email from a parent with my pastor and he said:

“Chris, don’t take it personally.  You know that they are just coming to you because they don’t know where to go.  There’s a story beneath the story.” 

It was a turning moment for me because I began to approach moments of conflict and hurt differently.  I looked for healing so that I could stop the hurting.

Wounds happen on a daily basis in youth ministry, because it’s a spiritual battle.  Ministry is personal and deals with people’s hearts and souls.  When the wounds form you need to address them or else they will:

• Build Resentment
• Blur Your Focus
• Creates Distrust Towards Others
• Isolates You In Your Ministry

To heal your wounds takes work.  It’s not impossible; however, it takes patience, humility and love.  To find healing for your wounds you need to be:

• Walking With Others:  You need someone who will allow you to release what’s on your heart, even if the feelings aren’t clear.  Walking with others means receiving the insight you need to avoid future wounds, it also means receiving attention for the ones you might be ignoring.

• Leaning Into the Conflict: Conflict can escalate into something uncontrollable if it isn’t approached immediately.  Keep short accounts and do not allow tension to create emotions that weren’t there previously.  This means confronting the problems and committing to work through them.  Look to someone who can give you wisdom if you are unsure how to approach the situation. 

• Developing a Trustworthy Attitude: To build up trust you need to work on the relationship.  That means clear communication, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and giving them grace, where it is needed.  That way when something happens you can approach it knowing that the best intentions are present.

• Putting Your Faith Before Others: The reason wounds might be prevalent in your ministry is because you are constantly pouring into others, and no one is pouring into you.  Put your relationship with God first so that you can be spiritually fed.  While your job is to introduce teens into a relationship with Christ, you can’t do that when you are running on empty.

Every one in ministry faces a spiritual battle.  Decide how you are going to engage it.   
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You are not alone.  Build a vision for your ministry, find support and trust that God will lead you through and address those wounds.  Again, you are not alone and I believe you can do this.

What are the hardest wounds to heal?  How do you seek healing?