A memory popped into my mind the other day. Before Covid, my nephews were altar serving. As we were waiting for them to finish their duties, one of them came out of the sacristy with the candle snuffer (yes, I had to look up what the official name for that is) and went about extinguishing the candles around the altar. I was sitting with my niece Ginny, who must have been around 4 at the time. She saw her brother putting out the candles and she ran up to him.
“My turn! My turn!” Well, she was a little too young to help, so we told her that she had to wait until she was a little bit bigger and then she could help. She could be an altar server like her brothers and then she could help. She cried and started pouting. But then she started helping my dad, who also happens to be a deacon for the parish, by putting a book away in the sacristy. She was so excited she could help carry the book that was about as big as her. She was excited to help.
That memory started me thinking about myself when I was a little girl. I remember some of my firsts steps in ministry and leadership came from growing up in my parish community. I remember reading or singing in the children’s choir during Mass as an elementary student. I was so excited when I received my First Communion because that meant I could finally be an altar server. As a kid, my dad was always by my side helping me as I learned new things and my mom would always tell me, “You go, girl!” when I told her I wanted to try something new. I was allowed to grow as a high school youth ministry kid, leading retreats, working on projects for our Diocesan Youth Council, and sharing my thoughts and opinions during parish events.
In college, I was encouraged to listen to God calling me to serve the Church using the gifts that only I had. As a young adult, I was entrusted to help build up ministry with young adults in my diocese and now at a national level. And today, I serve as a full-time lay ministry leader in my diocese. I am so thankful for everyone who walked with me, who encouraged me, who made sure there was space for me at the table, and who took a step back so I could stand up and share my voice.
But sadly, I feel like my experience is the exception. I’ve heard from too many women who have a desire to serve in a different parish or diocesan ministry roles that they never had opportunities like I did. They weren’t welcomed at the table. Doors were shut and locked. Young women shared that they didn’t know they could be lay ministry leaders because they had never seen a woman do it before. Women not having support in their own home parishes. Women going unseen, unheard, and unsupported. Women feeling judged for the fact that they are a woman. Women offering their gifts, only to have them rejected by other parish leaders.
I think about my nieces, Ginny and her little sister Clara, and my two Goddaughters, Annie and Madeline, a lot when I engage in ministry. As their aunt and Godmother, I feel a responsibility to show them that their gifts and talents are beautiful and should be shared with others. That those wonderful gifts are unique to them and are so necessary to the Church. I also think about the young women we are called to serve. We are called to inspire them to answer the call God has placed in their lives, to bring Christ to others, and to be saints.
So how do we do that? We can show them the wonderful examples of women who are saints. Each saint living out her vocation by being fully herself as God created her to be. We can show that by being mentors to women in ministry. Encouraging them, teaching them, and walking with them. We can also encourage women in the Church by making sure the table of mission and ministry is large enough for all. That women are able to have their voices heard and valued. That women are able to be seen as treasured sources of knowledge and wisdom. By doing that, we can encourage a new generation of young leaders in our parishes, communities, and Church. Vicky Hathaway serves as the Ministry Consultant for Youth and Young Adult Ministry in the Diocese of Gary Indiana, which is nestled in the northwest corner of Indiana. She is a member of the National Advisory Team on Young Adult Ministry and recently served as the chair for the 2020 National Leadership Forum on Ministry with Young Adults. Prior to working for the diocese, Vicky worked as a behavior therapist for seven and a half years, working with people with cognitive disabilities and their caregivers.