Guest Post: Are you cool enough for Youth Ministry? by Katie Aguilar

Dads and adults can try, but we don’t always succeed in what we might call “staying relevant”- being cool, aware of the trends, connected with the culture, etc. I want to talk about the idea of relevancy in youth ministry.

When I began my ministry career as a 22-year-old, I was frequently met with praise for being young and “able to relate to the kids.” Little did anyone know that I was already completely out of the loop- I used “Netflix and chill” in a conversation with some teens before knowing what it meant. I included an eggplant as part of my email signature for two weeks, not realizing that it was a phallic euphemism. I just had to look up whether or not the C in “Snapchat” is capitalized before admitting that I’ve never had a Snapchat streak. 

Truth be told, it would benefit me to listen to the Top 20 and watch the news every once. I did and still do have a lot of room to grow. Yet, those of you who might not feel cool enough for Youth Ministry may appreciate the following points on relevancy:

You’re supposed to grow up.

When I went over to my friend’s house in middle school, and her mom and I were wearing the same mini skirt from Aeropostle, I didn’t think, “Wow, Mrs. Amber is the coolest!” I thought, “I need to burn this skirt.” There is nothing more uncomfortable than an adult who just isn’t growing up. While you may be a Youth Minister, you are not a youth. You may dress more casually for work (have a more relaxed drip, if you will) than those in other professions, and you may be able to understand the latest slang terms. Still, in all ways, you must possess an age-appropriate self-identity and boundaries that distinguish you as a mature adult. That is what teens both want and need from you.

Your ministry methodology needs to be a natural fit.

Right now, I am not on any social media platforms, and in all transparency, I frequently debate if that is okay. We’re supposed to go where the people are, right? And the people are on social media. Yet, when I consider learning the ins and outs of TikTok or resurrecting my Instagram, I get a little sick feeling in my chest. For my own well-being and relationship with God, I made an intentional decision to withdraw temporarily. When I learn of the amazing online ministry that other people can offer, I can feel a pang of guilt. However, I recognize that the way I go about ministry has to come from my own heart, exactly where it is; otherwise, my methodology would be inauthentic, sloppy, and ultimately, ineffective for the Gospel. 

You can relate to people without having common interests.

How do I know? Well, until the great quarantine Netflix binge of 2020, all of my friendships endured without me understanding a single Office reference. You can relate to people because you are human. You- and every other human being on this planet- have aspirations, memories, talents, pains, fears, dreams, people we care about, people who have hurt us, desires to laugh, belong, and be known. Tap into that deep well of humanity and use it to connect with your young people. 

Learn through relationships

There are many ways you can learn about teenagers and their lives- plenty of articles and blogs, research studies, websites that rank the most popular apps, or define the words we don’t recognize our teens using in conversations. However, there is absolutely no suitable substitute for a real relationship with a real person when understanding teenagers. And if you know one teenager, you won’t know them all. This is why you need your team of volunteers- your community- to be your extended eyes and ears, as well as to connect personally with those you can’t reach. As you develop relationships with teens, they will become less and less mysterious.

The good news, my friends, is this: The Gospel is NEVER irrelevant. Bell bottoms may come and go, but forever, the message of the love of God will always be an answer to the longing of humanity. Take confidence in that. If you have the Gospel, you will always be cool enough. 

Katie Aguilar wants Church to be cool. She wants Church to be welcoming. She wants Church to be your family. For Katie, Church is not a place you go on Sundays. The Church is a divinely instituted, living, breathing, force-to-be-reckoned with. Her life is forever different because she knows the love of God and the Holy Spirit have guided her through some incredible adventures and challenging struggles in her life. She thinks one of the best things about God is that He never leaves her, even when she is a hot mess! Katie married the hunky Carlos Aguilar this past summer and has been living with him and her new family in Plano. Katie is a Maryland-native (East coast, best coast!) and works for the Diocese of Dallas in the Office of Youth, Young Adult, and Campus Ministries. She is most passionate about making a real, gritty, life-giving, exciting relationship with Jesus accessible to all people.