One of the largest frustrations in my life has been the inability to express myself in a clear and constructive way. As a teenager the emotions I felt during my parents divorce were intense and so over the top that they were often expressed in fits of anger and rebellion. When this happened there was conflict with my family and friends, when I was unable to express my emotions clearly I began to isolate myself. When you isolate yourself the major downside is coming out of that isolation, it’s like climbing up a huge hill, not sure if you’ll ever make it to the top.
It wasn’t until I got this job, and really began to take my faith seriously that I realized the best way to express myself is through what God has given me. Cooking, running, playing the piano, and guitar are all gifts God has given me to express my emotions. And while I’m not a master chef, professional runner or musician the reason I use these gifts is because that’s when I feel God work through me. Cooking is an expression of my love. Feeding others, giving people nourishment brings me great joy. Running is an expression of being loved, God loves me, wants me to be free, when I run I feel free and I feel His joy. Music is an expression of sorrow and loss, when pluck the strings, pound the keys its over something I once had, once loved or am not sure how to handle. Music helps me sort out the sorrow, the pain and the love that can burn deep inside.
Another benefit to all these gifts are their abilities to help me slow down my life. Our inability to express ourselves comes from not taking the time to think and articulate how we feel and that’s something I want to give that to students. I want to give them the steps to take the time to reflect and articulate how they are feeling, I want them to connect with God and discover the gifts He’s given them to express their emotions.