Her response wasn’t anything new, but it still hurt. The mother of an eighth-grader told me, “Thanks, but our son goes to Catholic school, so he doesn’t need to attend religious education.” I tried to explain to her that
what we were doing was different from your traditional religious education told her that what we did was different, but her expression was telling me that I wasn’t doing a great job of changing her mind.
Youth ministry is a hard sell. A few weeks ago at the Vision + Voice Conference Bishop Cepeda said, “Not a lot of people know what youth ministry is.” and that’s true even for many of our parents. We know that youth ministry is walking with the next generation, their families and helping them understand the unique calling God has for their lives.
Teens will come to your ministry if they feel engaged, challenged, and known. We see them come because a of a particular event we hold or because their friends are joining us, but if you don’t have parents behind what you do then a teenager’s attendance will be fleeting. Parents need to be on board and buy into what you do and:
IT STARTS WITH ONE
You need to diversify and amplify your voice and to do that you need advocates, parents who are sold out for your ministry and willing to share that with others. If you have at least one teen who is liking what you are doing, there is a good chance their mom or dad is for you too. Sit down with them and get a sense of what they like and don’t like. Ask them if they’d be willing to help you get the word out to other parents, especially the parents of their kid’s friends.
Give them a platform at your next parent meeting by allowing them to witness how they’ve seen life change in their teen. Encourage them to promote what you do in their circles and social media accounts. Thank them, and then look for another parent to help you out. While your ministry doesn’t need a yelp page, getting reviews will help you sell the value of what you do. They’ll be able to use analogies and examples that impact other parents.
PROVIDE THEM WITH PRESENCE
I worked at a church that used to say, “Do something for my kid, and you do something for me.” That’s true, but it isn’t enough to get parents fully on board with what you do. There is no manual for parenting, and sometimes all parents need is someone to sit with them, listen to what they are going through and affirm that they are not alone.
Even if a teen isn’t fully active in your ministry reach out to the parents in your parish. Invite them out for a cup of coffee, discover what they are learning about raising a teenager and ask them the question, “What can I do for you?”
I’ve seen parents become volunteers, back my ministry, and help me recruit simply by investing in them. When parents feel supported by your ministry, we set their teens up for success. Not only will they come back more often, but when we send them home, we know it’s to a place that sees the church as a resource.
WORK ON YOUR VISION, MISSION AND VALUE STATEMENTS
Again, there are a lot of people out there that don’t know what youth ministry is supposed to do. That isn’t their fault, and it’s something we need to develop. Even if youth ministry has been in your parish for decades, you need to be able to clarify it’s:
VISION: Why does it exist?
MISSION: How is it reaching its vision?
VALUE: What does it do for the people who are a part of it?
These are questions we need to focus on continuously. When someone asks you, “What do you do?” or “Why should I join you?” the answer should roll right off your tongue. Make sure these are shared in meetings, when you make an announcement and in emails. Your confidence in this area matters because there is so much competing for people’s time and attention. If parent’s don’t know the purpose of what you do, then they won’t stick around for long.
FOLLOW THROUGH WITH QUALITY
Parents have a lot going on, and it’s up to us to help them see how youth ministry adds to their family’s life. If you want parents on board, don’t waste their time with pointless meetings or poor communication. That means reassessing what you do and learning what parents want and need to succeed. If you can show them that you value their time, you’ll earn their trust.
It’s hard enough to get teens to buy into your ministry, to get parents involved might seem impossible. It takes work at the beginning, but it’s an investment that snowballs. When you earn the trust of parents it spreads, will continue to future parents, and you’ll discover support that can fuel your ministry to the next level.
How do you help parents see the value of your ministry?
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