The Fear Of Rejection

Rejection is like being punched in the gut.  Air escapes you and a moment of panic invades the mind.  It’s such an upsetting feeling it’s easy to understand why we go at all costs to avoid it.

A few years ago a friend of mine encouraged me to submit a recipe into a cooking competition.  I had this awesome chocolate, cherry pie recipe.  I poured so much time into it and when I finally submitted it, I got rejected.  It was a painful and embarrassing to the point where I haven’t made the pie since.  There was a part of me that just never wanted to be reminded of the pain.

Courtesy of Steve Snodgrass/Creative Commons License

Unfortunately, rejection happens in ministry way too many times.  It’s a biproduct of growth and change.  When you make decisions and choices you will face rejection to a degree.  Your push back will come from parents, teens, volunteers, coworkers and even family.  No matter what you need to work through the rejection.  To do that you need to:

• Embrace Failure:  Failure is not always a bad thing, in fact it can be a learning experience that presents new opportunities and perspectives.  What you need to do is fail forward and ask yourself and God, “What’s my next move?” Turn that failure into a new opportunity.

• Listen For Truth: It’s easy to push back against the rejection and say, “Their problem, not mine.“; however, in criticism there can be a little bit of truth.  Listen to it, reflect and then see if there is instruction on improvement.  If you are unsure take the feedback to a friend to get an outside perspective.

• Look Forward: Again rejection is not the end, it’s a reminder to revisit the vision.  Rejection is another way of saying, “You are going the wrong way.” or “You just have to be a little more patient.”  If you see rejection as a motivation to keep moving forward you’ll find obstacles easier to overcome.

• Seek Affirmation: Rejection can have an emotional, spiritual and physical toll on your body.  It’s important to take care of yourself by surrounding yourself with people who will build you up.  It’ also important to focus on your time with God.  Your Heavenly Father will remind you that you are loved and valued, you just need to eliminate the noise so you can hear Him. 

You don’t have to fear rejection because it’s not the end of your journey.  It’s just a new direction to where you need to go and how you need to approach your vision.  Remember to embrace the rejection, sit in it and hand it over to God, so that you can keep moving forward.

Which step is the hardest for you to embrace when rejected?