We talk a lot about parents in our pews, but what about the parents on our payroll? In many parishes and dioceses, the men and women who are raising families while working for the Church are barely getting by. They’re juggling ministry responsibilities with soccer practice, youth group with bedtime routines, sacramental prep with sick days. And instead of supporting them, too often the Church makes it harder.
If we can’t figure out how to care for the staff and leaders who are parents, how can we expect to care for the parents in our parish? When Church employees burn out, quit, or quietly disengage because they can’t support their families, the whole parish suffers. We lose talent, we lose continuity, and most importantly, we send the message that the Church doesn’t actually practice what it preaches about family life.
I’ve seen this struggle up close. A colleague once told me he loved working for the Church, but once he and his wife had their first child, he started job hunting. Not because he lost his sense of mission, but because he realized he couldn’t afford health insurance for his family on his parish salary. I’ve heard from women in ministry who had to use all their vacation time for maternity leave. Others have had to bring their babies to staff meetings because childcare was unaffordable.
Meanwhile, we preach about the dignity of family life and the importance of supporting parents. Do you see the disconnect? If the Church isn’t supporting the parents who work for it, why should parishioners believe we’ll support them?
So how do we start changing this?
Family leave matters. Paid parental leave should be the norm, not the exception, in Church work.
Health coverage counts. Parishes and dioceses need to make sure family plans are affordable and fair.
Flexibility helps. Many parishes are finding creative ways to support parents—letting staff work from home when possible, adjusting schedules, or welcoming kids in the office. Those things matter, and they deserve applause. But let’s be clear: they’re stopgaps, not solutions.
Pay what’s just. If we really believe in the value of family life, then salaries should reflect that reality—not force parents to leave ministry to survive.
I know some parishes can’t afford everything right now. But “we can’t afford it” should never become “we’ll never aim for it.” If leadership can’t make these changes immediately, then they need to at least cast a vision, share the need with the congregation, and start moving toward it.
Because here’s the truth: the way we treat the people who work for the Church tells the world what we really believe about family life. When we care for our staff—whether they’re parents, married, or single—we earn the credibility to care for the parents sitting in our pews.
This week, ask yourself: What’s one step our parish could take to better support the staff who are raising families while serving the Church? And then—start talking with your people about how to make it happen.