Building Belonging: How to Cultivate Community in Your Parish

Unfortunately, we didn't get the word out that our drop-in Bible study was canceled. Due to a series of conflicts, we had to cancel the weekly gathering, and people were upset. Despite the disappointment of those who didn't get the notification, what was confirmed is that people loved showing up each week to participate in this program. And while you could point to the quality of the content, the reason people showed up is because they were SEEKING COMMUNITY.

While content, food, and clever marketing can get people to attend your programs and events, the real reason people will engage depends on the community. Whenever I invite someone, teen, kid, or adult to a program or an event, I always get the question, "Who else is going to be there?" 

The reason that question is asked is because people like to connect, and knowing who will be present will impact their likelihood to show up. So, if you want people to attend small groups or show up to your events regularly then you are going to have to FOCUS WHAT YOU DO AROUND COMMUNITY by:

EMPOWERING OTHERS TO SHARE THE INVITATION

As much as I want the pastor to make pulpit announcements or barrage people with emails, there is no better way of getting people to show up than word of mouth. The best way to get people to attend your event, get involved in your ministry, or join a group is to have someone they know and trust extend the invitation. And the trick to making this happen is pretty simple, you tell your committed folks to extend the invitation.

I'll never forget one of the first times I asked a teenager, "Why don't your friends ever join you at small groups?" Their response was priceless, "Wait, I can invite my friends to join me?" Don't assume that people know they can invite others. This is especially true with small groups, where many assume you must sign up or be registered. And even if you are supposed to register, allow people to bring guests to get a sneak peek of what it is you do.

The more you encourage others to invite their friends, family and neighbors, the more welcoming of an environment you'll create. Newcomers will be familiar with at least one or two people and more relaxed to meet others. 

DEVELOP BUDDIES AND HOSTS

While you want to encourage word of mouth, you'll have people attend your programs and events because of what they read in the bulletin or heard during your pulpit announcements. Even though these individuals were bold enough to show up, the next step of getting to know others can be a little intimidating. No matter what your ministry looks like, it's always good to recruit a few people to help newcomers feel at ease. 

This ministry can be as simple as having someone at the front door who takes a few minutes to explain to visitors or newcomers what to expect. You can create a buddy system, especially for teens and kids, where you pair new people up, so no one has to be alone.

Regardless of the format of your buddies or hosts, make sure they are trained to get to know the individual in a welcoming matter. Teach them the right questions to ask, but also how to give them space so it doesn't feel like you are interrogating them. Make sure your team knows what they should cover so that the person walks away feeling confident about what matters most. When you recruit buddies and hosts, you take away the awkwardness and break the ice.

FOLLOW UP WITH MORE WAYS TO CONNECT

It can be a big deal for someone to visit your ministry for the first time. Even if what you host is a one-time event, it's good to follow up with everyone who attended or registered with a little message thanking them for coming. If you want people to come back or engage in other ways make sure you provide for them an action step or a contact to reach out to with further questions.

If the amount of newcomers or visitors is small don't hesitate to call them. When you follow up with someone who checks out what you are doing, it shows them that their presence and experience matter to you and the church. Even if what you do is a simple email, it lets people know that you care.

People of all ages are looking to belong. Yes, their faith growth matters to them, but many would prefer to grow with others. It doesn't matter how big or small the opportunity you are inviting people to attend is, make sure you are providing a personal invitation, and connecting them to the community. Not only will your work impact their experience, but it will strengthen the relationships you are shepherding at the parish. 

When have you felt a part of a community through your parish? How can you replicate what you have experienced through the ministries you oversee? Share your thoughts in the comments.