As a kid I hated when our church choir sang every verse of the closing hymn. All I wanted to do was get in the car and go home. Unless, they were serving donuts in the parish hall. No kid was going to pass up a free donut, but even still there was no need to sing all five verses and repeat the first one...come on!
It's natural to go into any Catholic church and see people leave right after communion, before the final blessing and during the last hymnal. They got stuff to do, places to go and even if we tell them, "The Mass ain't over." They are still gone.
Even when people stay through the final note, the real questions are:
Do people linger in conversation?
Make a beeline for the parking lot?
Hang around and serve during weekend programming?
While we need to measure Mass attendance, it doesn’t tell the whole story. The real question we should be asking is:
We all want people to come to Mass. But if our vision stops there, we might be missing the larger invitation to build a parish culture of stickiness — a place where people want to stay, grow, and contribute.
A few pastoral leaders recently shared with me that while their communities are described as "warm and welcoming," they also notice how quickly people disappear after Mass. That tension reveals an opportunity: people feel welcomed, but they don’t yet feel rooted.
So, how do we help people feel rooted?
Sometimes it’s not a huge program that makes someone feel like they belong—it's the little things:
Knowing someone’s name and using it
Someone noticing when you're not there
Invitations to contribute or participate
Seeing people who look like you or share your life stage
You don’t have to overhaul everything to make this shift. Instead, start asking: What are the subtle messages people receive when they walk into your parish? What messages do they receive when they leave?
Go beyond just handing out bulletins and opening doors. Train your ushers and greeters to see themselves as the front line of hospitality where everyone begins to belong.
Sure, coffee and donuts help—but if you want people to stay, you need to offer something deeper. It all starts with an invitation, and then a place where people can congregate. Make sure the space is clean and inviting. Put in furniture where people can sit, settle in and engage in conversations with others.
Don't be afraid to put in some family-friendly elements. After Mass some kids might want to run around, so holding post-Mass fellowship near a playground or game room could be key. Regardless of what you do, put time into it because people will notice. And if you are not sure where to start consider creating a survey to gain some ideas.
Typically when you walk into a store and need assistance looking for something it's easy to know who to ask. Most people are wearing a uniform, name tag or smock that says, "I work here." Does your church have that? One of the reasons people go up to the priest, deacon and altar servers after Mass is because it's obvious that they are involved. But that's a lot for a few people to handle. Besides, the clergy usually need to get ready for the next liturgy. What if you had a team?
While greeters focus on welcoming people as they arrive, accompaniment teams are there after Mass—to create community, answer questions, and help people take a next step.
Consider building an accompaniment team whose main focus is mingling with parishioners post-Mass, inviting conversation and answering questions. You could give them name tags, uniforms or set them up at an information kiosk clearly displayed on your parish grounds. Train them to create connection and assist those searching for more, to discover their next step.
Does your parish have a newsletter or an email list? Creating a simple QR code on the bulletin or link on your website can help you build your community during the week. Taking the time to design a communication plan can help your parishioners connect further and grow deeper in their faith.
Send out a Monday motivation with a scripture verse or saint quote to inspire their week. Provide a midweek update on things happening in the parish. Give them a preview of what to expect this weekend with a Friday email. Let them know you are thinking about them, and their discipleship throughout the week.
Maybe your parish is already doing all of these things. Then consider these questions:
What’s one new thing we can try after Mass to invite community?
How are we listening to the people we hope will get more involved?
What would it look like if our ministry reflected the makeup of our pews?
Who might be missing from our leadership conversations?
It’s not just about boosting numbers. It’s about becoming a place people are drawn to—a spiritual home they want to dwell in, not just visit.
This week, don’t just focus on how many people show up. Ask yourself what kind of experience they have after they arrive. Then, invite one new person to help you create that kind of parish.
You don’t need to do it alone. But someone needs to start.
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