I’m trying to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s not a feeling I enjoy, but it’s necessary if I’m going to be the best leader possible. I’m not sure when I started permitting myself to feel uncomfortable, but the truth is I’m not fully there yet. Unlike immigrants, people of color, members of the GLBTQ+ community, and women, I can shut off the discomfort and retreat to my world of privilege when I do that I ignore the problem and become a part of it.
If you work in a church, you have a responsibility to live in the discomfort. That does not mean abandoning your beliefs as a Christian; it means embracing them because Christ was always in uncomfortable situations that bring mercy, grace, and love. The problem is that we make church too safe. We avoid jumping into hot topics because we feel like we have a lot to lose. But, if we’re going to be a church of change and bring God’s healing love to a broken world, we need to:
I’ve found that I am at my worst when I’m hurting. Hurt people hurt others, and if I live in my brokenness, I’m going to drag others into it. As leaders, we need to practice self-care by:
When we can start to admit that we are a part of the brokenness, we can begin making the right changes to begin turning things around. A confident leader isn’t afraid to bring up the difficult discussions because they know that they are a work in progress.
If you are afraid of rocking the boat, you need to look at your spiritual and pastoral needs. Do not be afraid to seek therapy or spiritual direction. Make sure you are working time into your schedule to address your brokenness so that you can grow.
Imagine doing ministry without a church building. How would it change your efforts to awaken the faithful and reach the lost? One of the reasons people see the church is irrelevant is because they don’t know the church present in their lives. They might come on Sunday to Mass or a Wednesday night to your youth group, but where are you the rest of the week?
If we’re going to address significant issues of the world, then we have to jump into the world, listen, and learn how it works. As you plan your calendars, ask yourself the following questions:
It’ll take work because it requires a change in habits and strategy. It means no longer relying on a central location to do ministry. Meet in homes, work in coffee shops, and volunteer in the community. The more we move away from the idea that the church is a building, the more we can strengthen its community.
I used to shy away from difficult conversations because I didn’t want people to be disappointed with me. I did not want them to discover my lack of knowledge. I did not want them to think less of me because my belief differed from theirs. I was addicted to people-pleasing, which meant ignoring the difficult discussions that lead to wonderful decisions.
No matter your audience, it’s essential to be intentional about the difficult topics like race, immigration, sex, and so forth. If you aren’t the expert, that’s okay, that’s where you need to find people who are and can speak to the subject in a way that helps others grow. If we want people to understand how the church is relevant in their lives today, then we need to talk about issues that matter to them.
As you look at your calendar, ask yourself, “When are we going to talk about FILL IN THE TOPIC HERE?” When you plan specific topics, you give yourself the time to prepare and find the best resources. Your discussions will be more fruitful because you’ll have the capacity to lead people in the right direction.
We can no longer wait for the next Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, or Rayshard Brooks to discuss race. We shouldn’t wait for the next KKK demonstration in Charlottesville, VA, to talk about hate. If we want to start preventing these situations, it’s about extending ourselves out of our comfort zones, admitting our brokenness, and allowing God to lead us to heal.