I was chatting with one of our team members last week, and she said something that hit me hard, “Chris, youth ministers, and DRE’s are grieving the loss of their programs.” She was right; if you’ve been at a church for a few years, there are some traditional programs, retreats, and events that didn’t happen this summer, nor, this fall. With the cancellation and restructuring come feelings of sadness, disappointment, anger, and so much more.
I’m mourning the loss of a mission workcamp I’ve been a part of for over a decade. While we were able to make it remote, it has not felt the same, and going into the fall, I know of so many other traditions that will change. Whenever your ministry faces a significant change, there will be a loss. Teens, volunteers, and parents who expected one thing, now have to readjust. While some of us are ready to move on, we have to recognize that mourning the changes taking place are okay. Before you jump into the busyness of ministry, slow it down and:
RECOGNIZE YOUR LOSS
What will you miss the most, and how are you dealing with it? If you are struggling to let go of an experience or a program, it’s essential to recognize the emotions in your life. Name the loss by:
- Praying and offering it up to God.
- Sharing it with friends or family members.
- Giving yourself time to reflect on the positive (and even negative) memories.
You shouldn’t spend forever lamenting the loss, but recognize the sadness, anger, and frustration that comes with it. If you do not feel a loss that’s okay, you might be ready to move on to the next chapter. Be sure to acknowledge that you are prepared to move forward and begin walking with others.
REVISIT THE VISION BEHIND WHAT YOU ARE DOING
One of the reasons it’s difficult for us to formulate plans for the next year is because of the disruption that COVID-19 has created in our ministry. For many of us, it’s like driving along the highway, hitting black ice and spinning out of control. We’ve been knocked off course, so it’s now time to remind ourselves, THE BIG WHY behind what we are doing.
To get back on track and regain the momentum we’ve lost, we need to slow down and revisit our vision statements. Why does your ministry exist? The vision that God has placed on your ministry will excite and motivate others. A leader that carries the vision and communicates it clearly can help others out of a funk.
Bring together the people on your team and dream about where God wants you to go. Develop your thoughts into a narrative that you can share with your congregation. Give them an idea of where you want to go, tell them why it’ll be awesome, and invite them to jump on board. People need hope; they want something to pull them out of this crisis that has controlled our lives. Your vision statement can help them move through the loss.
REBUILD THROUGH RELATIONSHIPS
How are the families in your parish doing? While you work to rebuild your ministry, others are trying to navigate through the uncertainty ahead of us. While offering formation is an essential component of our jobs, it can’t replace relationships. One of the most critical characteristics of your parish programs and events is the relationships that form.
While you might not be able to host the same opportunities, you can still nurture the relationships. It’s even more critical to invest in those relationships. People want to know you miss them, they want to know that those relationships they have formed through the church still stand. While you might not have a lot to offer in regards to programming, you can even show them significance by asking them how they are doing. Like you, parishioners are mourning the loss of what could have been this year. Walk with them through the changes, let them know the Church is present in their lives, and as you move forward, you’ll discover that they are there walking with you.
As we move forward, we need to recognize what could have been. It’s okay to be sad and disappointed; however, we need to remember that through loss, God brings new and exciting things. While you’ll want to move forward, don’t rush it, take each day at a time and lean into the Spirit.
What are you sad about losing this fall, and what are you most excited about gaining?