You can see the pain in their eyes. They love what they are doing but feel like they are on an island all by themselves. One of the biggest challenges I see youth ministers face is loneliness.
It’s something we can all battle. Whether you are a parent, leader or working in the trenches of church ministry loneliness can eat at you. But, what if it was all in your head?
Have you ever thought:
No one cares about the teens more than I do
No one else knows how hard it is to do ministry
No one can get this done as well as me?
Those lies will only create further isolation. The truth is that you need to trust that there are others out there that care just as much as you do. To combat those lies start:
When you allow others to speak into your decisions you create a culture where people care. They’ll care about what you do and more importantly about you as a person.
We all know the value of feedback but some of us stink at accepting it. We’re quick to make excuses, shoot it down and sometimes accuse the other person on being out to get them.
We have to remember that the feedback we receive isn’t always a personal attack on us. Most times it’s to improve our systems and programs. People are sharing because they do care about what you do.
Before you react to someone’s critique listen to the full story. Separate the emotion and sit with it. Remind yourself it’s not about you and thank them for their thoughts.
The men and women you work with will care about you if they get to know you. While you can wait for them to ask questions take the initiative by:
It’s going to mean being vulnerable but the benefits are huge. As they get to know you as a person they’ll build compassion for what you do. You’ll start to see people looking out for you beyond your ministry.
We tell our teens that they are never alone because of God; yet, we can ignore our own advice. When your relationship with God suffers so will your relationship with others.
During times of isolation it’s important to focus on your own discipleship. Are you praying, serving, giving and pursuing God’s will? Lean into Him and He’ll give you the peace, love and grace you need to do the work that He’s called you to do.
Ministry and leadership don’t have to be lonely. No one is out to get you, in fact there are so many people for you. Invite them into your life, be a part of theirs and embrace the community that God has given you.
What triggers your feelings and thoughts of loneliness?