Are You Listening To Your Teens?

I heard this muttered by one of our high school girls as she entered the room for the start of another evening of our youth ministry program.  I found myself sarcastically wondering, “What life crisis could be ending the world this week?” I was too busy preparing before the majority of students arrived, I wanted to go over my lesson for the night one more time, and I wanted to make sure that my team was ready to go. But I paused from my business to ask the question:

“What’s going on, Claire?”

She responded, “The semi-formal dance is this weekend and the administration is thinking about canceling it because we don’t have enough chaperones. Teachers don’t want to do it anymore and parents need clearances to be at an activity like that”

A lightbulb went off in my head, I told her, “I think I can help you out.”

How many times have opportunities to be part of our student’s lives arise but we are too busy to just listen? When that happens we can miss simple; yet, profound ways to engage in their lives. Here was an event that presented itself to me, I didn’t have to plan it out, and just about every single student from my Church was attending. What a fool I would have been to ignore that.  

Chaperoning the dance gave me an opportunity to interact with teens in a space outside of the usual ministry setting. I was able to say hello to the majority of students I knew as they came in, and as they passed by they thanked me for helping make their event happen. Again, by taking a moment to listen I learned:

WE NEED TO GO TO THE FLOCK MORE

At NCCYM this past December, Bishop Caggiano of the Diocese of Bridgeport said that based on last year’s Synod of Youth and Vocations

“I thought I already made time to be among the people and listen. But I realized that I need to make more time to be out of the office and in the streets meeting the people.”

 If a Bishop is saying this of his own time, we can we say about our own?

And it’s hard to remember that our jobs are not 9-5 office hours, that we need to set time each week to go out into the community, attend games, recitals or concerts. It might be overwhelming to decide which events to go to, but that’s where we need to listen to what’s happening in our teen’s lives because:

PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN THEIR INTERESTS

Teens will want to connect with people who show interest in their lives. We need to be able to answer the question:

What are teens investing their time in, so that we can learn more about it?

That means staying up on the latest trends, shows, and hobbies. That comes from conversations with young people where you listen first and ask questions for more information. You teach them, let them teach you, especially with what’s going on in their world.  

When we listen we are also encouraged to:

GO OUTSIDE OF OUR COMFORT ZONE

When we are too busy to listen or refuse to listen we end up limiting our ability to serve others. Listening to their stories means learning about the situation and allowing God to reveal a solution. It might mean doing something different, but that’s what all of our ministries need from time to time. So next time you hear:

• No chaperones for a dance? Be one.   
• Not enough coaching staff for a team? Volunteer.   
• The band needs someone to run their snack stand at the game. Do it.  

Don’t be afraid to try something outside your comfort zone.  We ask our kids to do it all the time. Not only will they appreciate our willingness to invest in them, but they’ll see how to do it for others.

What are some ways that you have become the answer to your student’s challenges?